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.It had been weeks since I’d had the dream where Eve could walk, but now that I was about to see her, my guilty brain really turned it on.We were back at the beach, but instead of wearing a bathing suit, Eve was all dressed in white.She had this long Victorian-type dress on, with a high lace neck, and white stockings, like she was an old-fashioned bride, or maybe a blond Emily Dickinson.Me and Doug were both wearing jeans and sweaters.It was cold, wintry, and we’d realized we’d make a mistake bringing her there, but somehow we couldn’t get back to the house - the sand had turned into enormous drifts of snow.We both knew what Eve wanted - that she wanted to be left there, with the tide rising ever higher.With each giant, rolling wave, the tide line inched toward us.Doug and I were huddled together, not sure what to do, the wind whipping us in the face.Only Eve wasn’t terrified, waiting for the water to over-take her.I had this image of her sitting there, in her metal chair, the snow accumulating on her arms and legs, and the water lapping at her bare feet.Her feet, I noticed, were very blue, and her toe-nails were covered in shimmering layers of ice.I remembered reaching out to touch her, unsure whether she was turning blue from the cold, or because she’d stopped breathing.My heart beat like crazy.I knew I had to get to her chair, to press my hands against her chest.I knew how to do CPR.We’d practiced it together on the rubber dummy in the gym sophomore year.I kept calling out to Doug to help me, but it was too windy for anyone to hear.I was cold and kept shivering.I had to rub my hands to keep them from getting stiff.Finally, I reached out to touch Eve, to get her breathing again, and she turned her head toward me.At first I was so relieved, because she was ok, her neck was still strong enough to hold her head upright, to turn, but then I realized there was no good side of her face; both eyes were wide open and blue, staring blankly back at me.I bolted upright, my blankets in a heap at the end of my bed, and a chill running through my spine.In the back of my mind lingered a memory, a sense of certainty.In the dream, I had made up my mind to run for it, to go back to the house, to leave her there; I had run out of fear, but also out of knowing there was something heroic in it.In the dream it took all my courage to turn my back on her.It took all day for me to shake the jitters of the morning.Twice in Algebra, my lids got heavy, and when I’d started to doze, I saw again the long white garment the dream - Eve had worn.Finally, at lunch, once I’d gotten a large coffee - the cafeteria lady scolding me that it was really only there for the staff.I felt fully awake, the nightmare feeling falling away like dust.I had to keep reminding myself there was nothing real about it.By the end of the school day, I felt almost calm.I drove myself over to Eve’s and I kept pretty cool – no unfortunately placed trees, and no scratched-up bumpers.I thought maybe I was finally getting the hang of the whole driving thing.The trick with driving was to just not think about anything but the driving, which was actually good for me.Eve was upstairs almost full-time now.With her neck weakened, it wasn’t safe for her to be out of bed.Mrs.O’Meara wasn’t anywhere to be seen, just a nurse they had hired to look after Eve during the day.Her name was Ms.Kenney, and she had white hair that I thought must have once been red.She had that red-head complexion, but with old-looking, faded freckles.She seemed to be expecting me.“You know the way up, I’m sure,” she said, and then she went back to doing some sort of baking.It was odd to see someone cooking real food in the O’Meara’s kitchen, since Mrs.O’Meara had always relied on things that came frozen in boxes.The house seemed peculiarly quiet, and I became conscious of my own breath as I climbed the stairs to Eve’s room.It was startling how familiar everything looked down to the plush carpet under my feet.When I walked into Eve’s room, I felt flooded with relief.Eve looked ok.If anything was shocking, it was how pretty she looked.My nightmares had prepared me for the worst, but this wasn’t it.Her nurse had propped her head up high on her pillow and she had a braid in the front of her hair the way the models all had in the magazines that month.She was wearing little gold hoop earrings and some kind of loose -fitting white jersey.“Hey Andy, missed you,” she said.Her voice was a little softer than normal, but still husky.“Missed you too.” I gave her a peck on the cheek.She was the same as before, with the left side of her face seeming to fold in on itself, and the right side almost normal-looking.But then she sort of half-scowled at me [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.It had been weeks since I’d had the dream where Eve could walk, but now that I was about to see her, my guilty brain really turned it on.We were back at the beach, but instead of wearing a bathing suit, Eve was all dressed in white.She had this long Victorian-type dress on, with a high lace neck, and white stockings, like she was an old-fashioned bride, or maybe a blond Emily Dickinson.Me and Doug were both wearing jeans and sweaters.It was cold, wintry, and we’d realized we’d make a mistake bringing her there, but somehow we couldn’t get back to the house - the sand had turned into enormous drifts of snow.We both knew what Eve wanted - that she wanted to be left there, with the tide rising ever higher.With each giant, rolling wave, the tide line inched toward us.Doug and I were huddled together, not sure what to do, the wind whipping us in the face.Only Eve wasn’t terrified, waiting for the water to over-take her.I had this image of her sitting there, in her metal chair, the snow accumulating on her arms and legs, and the water lapping at her bare feet.Her feet, I noticed, were very blue, and her toe-nails were covered in shimmering layers of ice.I remembered reaching out to touch her, unsure whether she was turning blue from the cold, or because she’d stopped breathing.My heart beat like crazy.I knew I had to get to her chair, to press my hands against her chest.I knew how to do CPR.We’d practiced it together on the rubber dummy in the gym sophomore year.I kept calling out to Doug to help me, but it was too windy for anyone to hear.I was cold and kept shivering.I had to rub my hands to keep them from getting stiff.Finally, I reached out to touch Eve, to get her breathing again, and she turned her head toward me.At first I was so relieved, because she was ok, her neck was still strong enough to hold her head upright, to turn, but then I realized there was no good side of her face; both eyes were wide open and blue, staring blankly back at me.I bolted upright, my blankets in a heap at the end of my bed, and a chill running through my spine.In the back of my mind lingered a memory, a sense of certainty.In the dream, I had made up my mind to run for it, to go back to the house, to leave her there; I had run out of fear, but also out of knowing there was something heroic in it.In the dream it took all my courage to turn my back on her.It took all day for me to shake the jitters of the morning.Twice in Algebra, my lids got heavy, and when I’d started to doze, I saw again the long white garment the dream - Eve had worn.Finally, at lunch, once I’d gotten a large coffee - the cafeteria lady scolding me that it was really only there for the staff.I felt fully awake, the nightmare feeling falling away like dust.I had to keep reminding myself there was nothing real about it.By the end of the school day, I felt almost calm.I drove myself over to Eve’s and I kept pretty cool – no unfortunately placed trees, and no scratched-up bumpers.I thought maybe I was finally getting the hang of the whole driving thing.The trick with driving was to just not think about anything but the driving, which was actually good for me.Eve was upstairs almost full-time now.With her neck weakened, it wasn’t safe for her to be out of bed.Mrs.O’Meara wasn’t anywhere to be seen, just a nurse they had hired to look after Eve during the day.Her name was Ms.Kenney, and she had white hair that I thought must have once been red.She had that red-head complexion, but with old-looking, faded freckles.She seemed to be expecting me.“You know the way up, I’m sure,” she said, and then she went back to doing some sort of baking.It was odd to see someone cooking real food in the O’Meara’s kitchen, since Mrs.O’Meara had always relied on things that came frozen in boxes.The house seemed peculiarly quiet, and I became conscious of my own breath as I climbed the stairs to Eve’s room.It was startling how familiar everything looked down to the plush carpet under my feet.When I walked into Eve’s room, I felt flooded with relief.Eve looked ok.If anything was shocking, it was how pretty she looked.My nightmares had prepared me for the worst, but this wasn’t it.Her nurse had propped her head up high on her pillow and she had a braid in the front of her hair the way the models all had in the magazines that month.She was wearing little gold hoop earrings and some kind of loose -fitting white jersey.“Hey Andy, missed you,” she said.Her voice was a little softer than normal, but still husky.“Missed you too.” I gave her a peck on the cheek.She was the same as before, with the left side of her face seeming to fold in on itself, and the right side almost normal-looking.But then she sort of half-scowled at me [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]