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.He swiveled away from his computer screen and offered his hand.The grip was soft and dry.“I figured you for a short timer,” he said.“So not a big surprise.”“It’s only because you let me present at the big building.”He nodded.“Chuck’s been looking for somebody for a while.I thought you’d fill the bill.”“You wanted this to happen,” I said.“I planned it.The CEO wanted Ansell Andersen, but I convinced Chuck that even gratifying his boss wasn’t worth the hazard of letting that snake into the garden.You’re far more likely to support Chuck’s agenda.The question is, will you support ours?”“Whose?”“Research.We’re isolated over here in engineering.They look at us as technocrats, clueless number crunchers.We need someone in the inner circle to look after our interests.You haven’t been here that long, but you can see our value.You can do that for us, I think.”He posed that last comment more as a question.I nodded.“I think I can.I won’t know how until I get over there.”“Good political answer,” he said, without rancor.“You’ll fit in well.”Then he swiveled back to his computer and I knew I was dismissed from that meeting, and likely forever more.So it was past the end of normal working hours when I finally encountered Ansell Andersen in the mail room.He was pulling sheets of paper out of a printer as they shot into the tray.He managed to continue this chore while staring up at me.“You must have pictures of Andalusky having carnal relations with a spring ewe,” he said, in a low monotone that still managed to sound aggressive.“It’s just a job,” I said, cleaning out my mailbox.“And a 1967 Ferrari 275 GTB Spyder is just a car.”“The Buddha would tell you wanting anything that badly is the surest way to never acquire it.”He fumbled the last few sheets from the printer, crinkling the edges.He swore and shoved them into a recycling bin.“The Buddha can kiss my ass.”I turned to leave the room, but he grabbed me by the shoulder.The shock of the contact startled me, and I shook off his hand more violently than either of us expected, though it did little to calm his wrath.“This isn’t my fight,” I said.“I’m just working here.”“You’re right.It isn’t you,” he said.“You’re just an asshole passing through.It’s the fucking management of this place that should be jailed for criminal stupidity.But who’s going to do that? The fucking board of directors, who’re paid six figures to show up twice a year to cram their heads up the CEO’s ass?”“I’m walking out of here now,” I said.“It’s probably a good idea not to put your hands on me again.”He just stood and glowered.I thought I saw a vein throbbing in his forehead.I thought, maybe I should just stand there and taunt him till he stroked out.But instead I backed out of the mail room and he made no move to stop me.I made it out of there physically intact, with my meager office belongings and a letter to show security at the big building when I showed up the next day as their newest employee.CHAPTER 18The new job came with a serious upgrade in office accommodations.Four walls with a door and a window to the outside, a desk, computer station and credenza, and a bookcase prestocked with reference material left by the prior occupant.I even had a theoretical percentage of an administrative assistant, though as the HR lady—the big building’s equivalent of Jenny Richardson—introduced us, the slim middle-aged woman with a Turkish accent gave me a look that said, “Don’t even think about it.”The most interesting part of the orientation came that afternoon when a guy named Brian showed up at my door carrying a laptop computer.“The IT man cometh,” he said.“Is now a good time?”“For IT, any time’s a good time,” I said.“That’s the kind of attitude we like to foster,” he said, slapping the laptop in front of me on the desk and flipping open the lid.He explained that with my new job I was categorized as a power user, warranting a personal visit by tech support.I let him walk me through basic instructions, establishing myself as an amenable computer naïf, not entirely helpless, but unlikely to challenge or be much of a burden on the technology edifice.When he got to the file servers, I was able to ask the question that had been on my mind since joining the company: “Just tell me where I’m allowed to go and where I’m not.”“I don’t have to tell you,” he said.“You don’t go anywhere your password won’t let you.But since you asked, anything with a little padlock icon, forget about it.”“I guess the security is sort of tight around here.”“Tighter than a gnat’s rectum.Our cybersecurity team is all ex-military.The rest of us aren’t allowed to talk to them.Shit, we can’t even look at ’em.”I held up my hands in abject surrender.“They’ll get no trouble from me,” I said.“You’re right, they won’t.”As soon as he left I took inventory of the files marked with the padlock icon.There weren’t that many, which told me I couldn’t see the really interesting stuff.I went into the list of corporate applications and wrote down the name and version of the Spam filter [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.He swiveled away from his computer screen and offered his hand.The grip was soft and dry.“I figured you for a short timer,” he said.“So not a big surprise.”“It’s only because you let me present at the big building.”He nodded.“Chuck’s been looking for somebody for a while.I thought you’d fill the bill.”“You wanted this to happen,” I said.“I planned it.The CEO wanted Ansell Andersen, but I convinced Chuck that even gratifying his boss wasn’t worth the hazard of letting that snake into the garden.You’re far more likely to support Chuck’s agenda.The question is, will you support ours?”“Whose?”“Research.We’re isolated over here in engineering.They look at us as technocrats, clueless number crunchers.We need someone in the inner circle to look after our interests.You haven’t been here that long, but you can see our value.You can do that for us, I think.”He posed that last comment more as a question.I nodded.“I think I can.I won’t know how until I get over there.”“Good political answer,” he said, without rancor.“You’ll fit in well.”Then he swiveled back to his computer and I knew I was dismissed from that meeting, and likely forever more.So it was past the end of normal working hours when I finally encountered Ansell Andersen in the mail room.He was pulling sheets of paper out of a printer as they shot into the tray.He managed to continue this chore while staring up at me.“You must have pictures of Andalusky having carnal relations with a spring ewe,” he said, in a low monotone that still managed to sound aggressive.“It’s just a job,” I said, cleaning out my mailbox.“And a 1967 Ferrari 275 GTB Spyder is just a car.”“The Buddha would tell you wanting anything that badly is the surest way to never acquire it.”He fumbled the last few sheets from the printer, crinkling the edges.He swore and shoved them into a recycling bin.“The Buddha can kiss my ass.”I turned to leave the room, but he grabbed me by the shoulder.The shock of the contact startled me, and I shook off his hand more violently than either of us expected, though it did little to calm his wrath.“This isn’t my fight,” I said.“I’m just working here.”“You’re right.It isn’t you,” he said.“You’re just an asshole passing through.It’s the fucking management of this place that should be jailed for criminal stupidity.But who’s going to do that? The fucking board of directors, who’re paid six figures to show up twice a year to cram their heads up the CEO’s ass?”“I’m walking out of here now,” I said.“It’s probably a good idea not to put your hands on me again.”He just stood and glowered.I thought I saw a vein throbbing in his forehead.I thought, maybe I should just stand there and taunt him till he stroked out.But instead I backed out of the mail room and he made no move to stop me.I made it out of there physically intact, with my meager office belongings and a letter to show security at the big building when I showed up the next day as their newest employee.CHAPTER 18The new job came with a serious upgrade in office accommodations.Four walls with a door and a window to the outside, a desk, computer station and credenza, and a bookcase prestocked with reference material left by the prior occupant.I even had a theoretical percentage of an administrative assistant, though as the HR lady—the big building’s equivalent of Jenny Richardson—introduced us, the slim middle-aged woman with a Turkish accent gave me a look that said, “Don’t even think about it.”The most interesting part of the orientation came that afternoon when a guy named Brian showed up at my door carrying a laptop computer.“The IT man cometh,” he said.“Is now a good time?”“For IT, any time’s a good time,” I said.“That’s the kind of attitude we like to foster,” he said, slapping the laptop in front of me on the desk and flipping open the lid.He explained that with my new job I was categorized as a power user, warranting a personal visit by tech support.I let him walk me through basic instructions, establishing myself as an amenable computer naïf, not entirely helpless, but unlikely to challenge or be much of a burden on the technology edifice.When he got to the file servers, I was able to ask the question that had been on my mind since joining the company: “Just tell me where I’m allowed to go and where I’m not.”“I don’t have to tell you,” he said.“You don’t go anywhere your password won’t let you.But since you asked, anything with a little padlock icon, forget about it.”“I guess the security is sort of tight around here.”“Tighter than a gnat’s rectum.Our cybersecurity team is all ex-military.The rest of us aren’t allowed to talk to them.Shit, we can’t even look at ’em.”I held up my hands in abject surrender.“They’ll get no trouble from me,” I said.“You’re right, they won’t.”As soon as he left I took inventory of the files marked with the padlock icon.There weren’t that many, which told me I couldn’t see the really interesting stuff.I went into the list of corporate applications and wrote down the name and version of the Spam filter [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]