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.He didn t feellike climbing a tree or burrowing into a dust-saturated attic; he smiled,didn t suit the dignity of the moment.It was a gray day with rainthreatening; yes, the clothes-lines on the roof of the weaving shed, therewouldn t be anyone hanging out clothes today.The lines were humming softly as the chill wind swept over the roof; it wasn tthe most comfortable place for a prolonged chat, but it was private.KarrelGoza kicked a basket of clothespegs out of a fairly sheltered corner andsettled himself with his back against the waist-high wall. Sit. Zaraiz Memeli dropped with the boneless awkward grace of his age, drew histhin legs up and wrapped thin arms about them.He said nothing.His attitudeproclaimed he intended to keep on saying nothing. You don t have to tell me why, Karrel Goza said. I know why. He smiledwith satisfaction as he saw the boy s rage flare, then vanish behind theshutters he d had too much practice raising between himself and the rest ofthe world.He did not want to be understood, Karrel Goza s words were both achal-lenge and an insult. Dalliss, Karrel said. The Ommar; arrogant,bigoted, makes you want to kick her face in, but she s good at her job. Hepushed aside his unease; this was no time for doubt. Within her limitsthere s no one big enough to take her place.Not you, my little friend, nomatter what you think.She s got her toadies, yes.Gozas, all of them.Youthink I like that? I d drop the lot in Saader s Cleft if it was up to me.Theystand in her shadow and steal her authority and tramp on the rest of us andshe s blind to it.Yes.I know.I m Goza and I m here, running errands forher, so you think I m one of them, tongu-ing her toes and begging her to walkon me. He shrugged, his shoulders scraping against the whitened roughcast. Ihad it easier than you.I got out.When I was a few years older than you, Igot out.Not di-vorced, just out.They tried bullocking me, sure they did, butmost of the time I wasn t here and when I was I had the clout to tell them togo suck.As long as I was flying. He felt the jolt again, the whole-body achethat came when he was grounded, the loss he couldn t put behind him exceptwhen he was flying for Elmas Ofka.An obsession can be a gift, giving point toan otherwise pointless life; it can be a torment when there s a wall in theway.He glanced at Zaraiz.The boy was blank as an empty page, refusing tohear any of this.What do you want, Zaraiz Memeli, do you know? He triedfeeling his way back to that time around puberty when all his certaintiesmelted like taffy left in the sun.No.He knew too much about surviving now.The years had made him intimately acquainted with gray, the middler world ofcrisp un-changing black-and-white wasn t available to him any longer.ThosePage 130 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlwere shifts so fundamental that it was impossible to recapture the angst ofthat world.It also made it difficult to judge what the boy was thinking, whathe was feeling. Do you extend your loathing to your parents? Your brothersand sisters? The boy lifted his eyes, flicker of molten obsidian, then he looked away. I went to see the Ommar Istib Memeli last night.We talked about you.Yourfather is on the Duzzulkas right now, bush-peddling black-market medicines,your mother works at the Kummas Kabrikon in the Fix room setting dyes, yourtwo older sisters work there also, handling half a dozen spinners each; HayatiMemeli, the older of them, has first signs of the cough-ing disease.Yourthird sister is only a few months old.Your two brothers are mid-youngers,still with their tutors; neither of them shows much promise with his letters,but Aygil Memeli the youngest is good with his hands, he might be a carpenteror a mechanic if the Bondfees can be found.Do they mean nothing to you? Karrel Goza stared at the boy, trying to see past the blankness. Ommar Istibsays you re bright enough but lazy.That could be because you haven t foundanything you think worth doing, or it could be because there s nothing to youbut flash and foolish-ness.Ommar Istib says you ve shown no special tal-ents,that you re not interested in anything, all you seem to know is what you don twant which is every-thing inside these walls. A muscle twitched beside theboy s mouth, but he would not look at Karrel. You think that matters toanyone? To me? Let me tell you, I m not particularly interested in who you areor what you think. Another molten black gaze.Karrel Goza nodded. Right.I mlike all the rest.That s the way the world wags, cousin.Let me makesomething clear.While you live within these walls, you will show some loyaltyto the others here; which means you will stop your yizzy raids as long as youare associated with this House.If you want the freedom of the streets, youcan have it; the convocation of ommars will pro-nounce a divorcement.Theywill not let you endanger the rest of Goza-Duvvar-Memeli. Zaraiz Memeli paled, flushed, clamped his lips to-gether, struggling tocontrol the emotions surging in him.A moment later he lost the fight. Hypocrite! The word exploded out of him in an angry whisper. You.you redoing worse. I m not a child. Karrel Goza fixed a quelling eye on the working, angryface; inside, he writhed as he listened to what was coming out of his mouth;he wasn t the pompous idiot he heard himself being, but somehow he couldn tshake loose from.from this stinking parody of all he d kicked againstsince he was Zaraiz Memeli s age.The face of authority, he thought, as hismouth went on uttering fatuities. I m not reck-lessly endangering the Housefor the sake of a tran-sient thrill. He held up his hand to silence the boyuntil he was finished speaking. There is a purpose to. Purpose! Zaraiz Memeli s voice cracked which made him angrier than before;he tried to say more, started to stammer and clamped his teeth on his lowerlip.Karrel Goza waited, giving the boy time to collect himself. Y.y.YOU! Zaraiz got out finally. Purpose, yunkshit.Playing stupid games.Goingno-where [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.He didn t feellike climbing a tree or burrowing into a dust-saturated attic; he smiled,didn t suit the dignity of the moment.It was a gray day with rainthreatening; yes, the clothes-lines on the roof of the weaving shed, therewouldn t be anyone hanging out clothes today.The lines were humming softly as the chill wind swept over the roof; it wasn tthe most comfortable place for a prolonged chat, but it was private.KarrelGoza kicked a basket of clothespegs out of a fairly sheltered corner andsettled himself with his back against the waist-high wall. Sit. Zaraiz Memeli dropped with the boneless awkward grace of his age, drew histhin legs up and wrapped thin arms about them.He said nothing.His attitudeproclaimed he intended to keep on saying nothing. You don t have to tell me why, Karrel Goza said. I know why. He smiledwith satisfaction as he saw the boy s rage flare, then vanish behind theshutters he d had too much practice raising between himself and the rest ofthe world.He did not want to be understood, Karrel Goza s words were both achal-lenge and an insult. Dalliss, Karrel said. The Ommar; arrogant,bigoted, makes you want to kick her face in, but she s good at her job. Hepushed aside his unease; this was no time for doubt. Within her limitsthere s no one big enough to take her place.Not you, my little friend, nomatter what you think.She s got her toadies, yes.Gozas, all of them.Youthink I like that? I d drop the lot in Saader s Cleft if it was up to me.Theystand in her shadow and steal her authority and tramp on the rest of us andshe s blind to it.Yes.I know.I m Goza and I m here, running errands forher, so you think I m one of them, tongu-ing her toes and begging her to walkon me. He shrugged, his shoulders scraping against the whitened roughcast. Ihad it easier than you.I got out.When I was a few years older than you, Igot out.Not di-vorced, just out.They tried bullocking me, sure they did, butmost of the time I wasn t here and when I was I had the clout to tell them togo suck.As long as I was flying. He felt the jolt again, the whole-body achethat came when he was grounded, the loss he couldn t put behind him exceptwhen he was flying for Elmas Ofka.An obsession can be a gift, giving point toan otherwise pointless life; it can be a torment when there s a wall in theway.He glanced at Zaraiz.The boy was blank as an empty page, refusing tohear any of this.What do you want, Zaraiz Memeli, do you know? He triedfeeling his way back to that time around puberty when all his certaintiesmelted like taffy left in the sun.No.He knew too much about surviving now.The years had made him intimately acquainted with gray, the middler world ofcrisp un-changing black-and-white wasn t available to him any longer.ThosePage 130 ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlwere shifts so fundamental that it was impossible to recapture the angst ofthat world.It also made it difficult to judge what the boy was thinking, whathe was feeling. Do you extend your loathing to your parents? Your brothersand sisters? The boy lifted his eyes, flicker of molten obsidian, then he looked away. I went to see the Ommar Istib Memeli last night.We talked about you.Yourfather is on the Duzzulkas right now, bush-peddling black-market medicines,your mother works at the Kummas Kabrikon in the Fix room setting dyes, yourtwo older sisters work there also, handling half a dozen spinners each; HayatiMemeli, the older of them, has first signs of the cough-ing disease.Yourthird sister is only a few months old.Your two brothers are mid-youngers,still with their tutors; neither of them shows much promise with his letters,but Aygil Memeli the youngest is good with his hands, he might be a carpenteror a mechanic if the Bondfees can be found.Do they mean nothing to you? Karrel Goza stared at the boy, trying to see past the blankness. Ommar Istibsays you re bright enough but lazy.That could be because you haven t foundanything you think worth doing, or it could be because there s nothing to youbut flash and foolish-ness.Ommar Istib says you ve shown no special tal-ents,that you re not interested in anything, all you seem to know is what you don twant which is every-thing inside these walls. A muscle twitched beside theboy s mouth, but he would not look at Karrel. You think that matters toanyone? To me? Let me tell you, I m not particularly interested in who you areor what you think. Another molten black gaze.Karrel Goza nodded. Right.I mlike all the rest.That s the way the world wags, cousin.Let me makesomething clear.While you live within these walls, you will show some loyaltyto the others here; which means you will stop your yizzy raids as long as youare associated with this House.If you want the freedom of the streets, youcan have it; the convocation of ommars will pro-nounce a divorcement.Theywill not let you endanger the rest of Goza-Duvvar-Memeli. Zaraiz Memeli paled, flushed, clamped his lips to-gether, struggling tocontrol the emotions surging in him.A moment later he lost the fight. Hypocrite! The word exploded out of him in an angry whisper. You.you redoing worse. I m not a child. Karrel Goza fixed a quelling eye on the working, angryface; inside, he writhed as he listened to what was coming out of his mouth;he wasn t the pompous idiot he heard himself being, but somehow he couldn tshake loose from.from this stinking parody of all he d kicked againstsince he was Zaraiz Memeli s age.The face of authority, he thought, as hismouth went on uttering fatuities. I m not reck-lessly endangering the Housefor the sake of a tran-sient thrill. He held up his hand to silence the boyuntil he was finished speaking. There is a purpose to. Purpose! Zaraiz Memeli s voice cracked which made him angrier than before;he tried to say more, started to stammer and clamped his teeth on his lowerlip.Karrel Goza waited, giving the boy time to collect himself. Y.y.YOU! Zaraiz got out finally. Purpose, yunkshit.Playing stupid games.Goingno-where [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]