[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
."She's getting on," Stefan mumbled."She'll take some looking after.I've been thinking.This is no town for a girlgrowing up.Wild lads and hard men.""You'll find them anywhere.""Will you; no doubt," Kostant said, accepting Stefan's statement without question.Kostant had never been off the karst, never been out of Sfaroy Kampe.He knewnothing at all but limestone, Ardure Street and Chorin Street and Gulhelm Street,the mountains far off and the enormous sky."See," he said, picking up his pipe again, "she's a bit wilful, I think.""Lads will think twice before they mess with Fabbre's sister," Stefan said."Anyhow, she'll listen to you.""And you.""Me? What should she listen to me for?""For the same reasons," Kostant said, but Stefan had found his voice now "Whatshould she respect me for? She's got good enough sense.You and I didn't listen toanything dad said, did we? Same thing.""You're not like him.If that's what you meant.You've had an education.""An education, I'm a real professor, sure.Christ! One year at the Normal School!""Why did you fail there, Stefan?" The question was not asked lightly; it came fromthe heart of Kostant's silence, from his austere, pondering ignorance.Unnerved atfinding himself, like Rosana, included so deeply in the thoughts of this reservedand superb brother, Stefan said the first thing that came to mind "I was afraid I'dfail.So I didn't work."And there it was, plain as a glass of water, the truth, which he had never admittedto himself.file:///F|/rah/Ursula%20LeGuin/LeGuin,%20Ursula%20K%20-%20Orsinian%20Tales%20[v1].htm (77 of 171) [7/17/03 11:36:03 PM] ORSINIAN TALESKostant nodded, thinking over this idea of failure, which was surely not onefamiliar to him; then he said in his resonant, gentle voice, "You're wasting yourtime here in Kampe.""I am? What about yourself?""I'm wasting nothing.I never won any scholarship." Kostant smiled, and thehumor of his smile angered Stefan."No, you never tried, you went straight to the pit at fifteen.Listen, did you everwonder, did you ever stop a minute to ask what am I doing here, why did I go intothe quarries, what do I work there for, am I going to work there six days a weekevery week of the year every year of my life? For pay, sure, there's other ways tomake a living.What's it for? Why does anybody stay here, in this Godforsakentown on this Godforsaken piece of rock where nothing grows? Why don't they getup and go somewhere? Talk about wasting your time! What in God's name is it allfor is this all there is to it?""I have thought that.""I haven't thought anything else for years.""Why not go, then?""Because I'm afraid to.It'd be like Brailava, like the college.But you ""I've got my work here.It's mine, I can do it.Anywhere you go, you can still askwhat it's all for.""I know." Stefan got up, a slight man moving and talking restlessly, half finishinghis gestures and words."I know.You take yourself with yourself.But that meansone thing for me and something else again for you.You're wasting yourself here,Kostant.It's the same as this business, this hero business, smashing yourself up forthat Sachik, a fool who can't even see a rockslide coming at him ""He couldn't hear it," Kostant put in, but Stefan could not stop now."That's notthe point; the point is, let that kind of man look after himself, what's he to you,what's his life to you? Why did you go in after him when you saw the slidecoming? For the same reason as you went into the pit, for the same reason as youfile:///F|/rah/Ursula%20LeGuin/LeGuin,%20Ursula%20K%20-%20Orsinian%20Tales%20[v1].htm (78 of 171) [7/17/03 11:36:03 PM] ORSINIAN TALESkeep working in the pit.For no reason.Because it just came up.It just happened.You let things happen to you, you take what's handed you, when you could take itall in your hands and do what you wanted with it!"It was not what he had meant to say, not what he had wanted to say.He hadwanted Kostant to talk.But words fell out of his own mouth and bounced aroundhim like hailstones.Kostant sat quiet, his strong hand closed not to open; finallyhe answered: "You're making something of me I'm not." That was not humility.There was none in him.His patience was that of pride.He understood Stefan'syearning but could not share it, for he lacked nothing; he was intact.He would goforward in the same, splendid, vulnerable integrity of body and mind towardswhatever came to meet him on his road, like a king in exile on a land of stone,bearing all his kingdom cities, trees, people, mountains, fields and flights ofbirds in spring in his closed hand, a seed for the sowing; and, because there wasno one of his language to speak to, silent."But listen, you said you've thought the same thing, what's it all for, is this allthere is to life If you've thought that, you must have looked for the answer!"After a long pause Kostant said, "I nearly found it.Last May."Stefan stopped fidgeting, looked out the front window in silence.He wasfrightened."That that's not an answer," he mumbled."Seems like there ought to be a better one," Kostant agreed."You get morbid sitting here.What you need's a woman," Stefan said,fidgeting, slurring his words, staring out at the early-autumn evening rising fromstone pavements unobscured by tree branches or smoke, even, clear, and empty.Behind him, his brother laughed."It's the truth," Stefan said bitterly, not turning."Could be.How about yourself?""They're sitting out on the steps there at widow Katalny's.She must be nightnursing at the hospital again.Hear the guitar? That's the fellow from Brailava,works at the railway office, goes after anything in skirts.Even goes after NonaKatalny.Sachik's kid lives there now.Works in the New Pit, somebody said.Maybe in your crew."file:///F|/rah/Ursula%20LeGuin/LeGuin,%20Ursula%20K%20-%20Orsinian%20Tales%20[v1] [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
zanotowane.pl doc.pisz.pl pdf.pisz.pl trzylatki.xlx.pl
."She's getting on," Stefan mumbled."She'll take some looking after.I've been thinking.This is no town for a girlgrowing up.Wild lads and hard men.""You'll find them anywhere.""Will you; no doubt," Kostant said, accepting Stefan's statement without question.Kostant had never been off the karst, never been out of Sfaroy Kampe.He knewnothing at all but limestone, Ardure Street and Chorin Street and Gulhelm Street,the mountains far off and the enormous sky."See," he said, picking up his pipe again, "she's a bit wilful, I think.""Lads will think twice before they mess with Fabbre's sister," Stefan said."Anyhow, she'll listen to you.""And you.""Me? What should she listen to me for?""For the same reasons," Kostant said, but Stefan had found his voice now "Whatshould she respect me for? She's got good enough sense.You and I didn't listen toanything dad said, did we? Same thing.""You're not like him.If that's what you meant.You've had an education.""An education, I'm a real professor, sure.Christ! One year at the Normal School!""Why did you fail there, Stefan?" The question was not asked lightly; it came fromthe heart of Kostant's silence, from his austere, pondering ignorance.Unnerved atfinding himself, like Rosana, included so deeply in the thoughts of this reservedand superb brother, Stefan said the first thing that came to mind "I was afraid I'dfail.So I didn't work."And there it was, plain as a glass of water, the truth, which he had never admittedto himself.file:///F|/rah/Ursula%20LeGuin/LeGuin,%20Ursula%20K%20-%20Orsinian%20Tales%20[v1].htm (77 of 171) [7/17/03 11:36:03 PM] ORSINIAN TALESKostant nodded, thinking over this idea of failure, which was surely not onefamiliar to him; then he said in his resonant, gentle voice, "You're wasting yourtime here in Kampe.""I am? What about yourself?""I'm wasting nothing.I never won any scholarship." Kostant smiled, and thehumor of his smile angered Stefan."No, you never tried, you went straight to the pit at fifteen.Listen, did you everwonder, did you ever stop a minute to ask what am I doing here, why did I go intothe quarries, what do I work there for, am I going to work there six days a weekevery week of the year every year of my life? For pay, sure, there's other ways tomake a living.What's it for? Why does anybody stay here, in this Godforsakentown on this Godforsaken piece of rock where nothing grows? Why don't they getup and go somewhere? Talk about wasting your time! What in God's name is it allfor is this all there is to it?""I have thought that.""I haven't thought anything else for years.""Why not go, then?""Because I'm afraid to.It'd be like Brailava, like the college.But you ""I've got my work here.It's mine, I can do it.Anywhere you go, you can still askwhat it's all for.""I know." Stefan got up, a slight man moving and talking restlessly, half finishinghis gestures and words."I know.You take yourself with yourself.But that meansone thing for me and something else again for you.You're wasting yourself here,Kostant.It's the same as this business, this hero business, smashing yourself up forthat Sachik, a fool who can't even see a rockslide coming at him ""He couldn't hear it," Kostant put in, but Stefan could not stop now."That's notthe point; the point is, let that kind of man look after himself, what's he to you,what's his life to you? Why did you go in after him when you saw the slidecoming? For the same reason as you went into the pit, for the same reason as youfile:///F|/rah/Ursula%20LeGuin/LeGuin,%20Ursula%20K%20-%20Orsinian%20Tales%20[v1].htm (78 of 171) [7/17/03 11:36:03 PM] ORSINIAN TALESkeep working in the pit.For no reason.Because it just came up.It just happened.You let things happen to you, you take what's handed you, when you could take itall in your hands and do what you wanted with it!"It was not what he had meant to say, not what he had wanted to say.He hadwanted Kostant to talk.But words fell out of his own mouth and bounced aroundhim like hailstones.Kostant sat quiet, his strong hand closed not to open; finallyhe answered: "You're making something of me I'm not." That was not humility.There was none in him.His patience was that of pride.He understood Stefan'syearning but could not share it, for he lacked nothing; he was intact.He would goforward in the same, splendid, vulnerable integrity of body and mind towardswhatever came to meet him on his road, like a king in exile on a land of stone,bearing all his kingdom cities, trees, people, mountains, fields and flights ofbirds in spring in his closed hand, a seed for the sowing; and, because there wasno one of his language to speak to, silent."But listen, you said you've thought the same thing, what's it all for, is this allthere is to life If you've thought that, you must have looked for the answer!"After a long pause Kostant said, "I nearly found it.Last May."Stefan stopped fidgeting, looked out the front window in silence.He wasfrightened."That that's not an answer," he mumbled."Seems like there ought to be a better one," Kostant agreed."You get morbid sitting here.What you need's a woman," Stefan said,fidgeting, slurring his words, staring out at the early-autumn evening rising fromstone pavements unobscured by tree branches or smoke, even, clear, and empty.Behind him, his brother laughed."It's the truth," Stefan said bitterly, not turning."Could be.How about yourself?""They're sitting out on the steps there at widow Katalny's.She must be nightnursing at the hospital again.Hear the guitar? That's the fellow from Brailava,works at the railway office, goes after anything in skirts.Even goes after NonaKatalny.Sachik's kid lives there now.Works in the New Pit, somebody said.Maybe in your crew."file:///F|/rah/Ursula%20LeGuin/LeGuin,%20Ursula%20K%20-%20Orsinian%20Tales%20[v1] [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]