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.He spoke coolly tomask his despair, and didn t bother to open hiseyes. Or perhaps you have come to yoursenses, and are using this as an excuse to avoidmarrying me.You could have just told me,Christine; there was no need for all this hysteriaover my supposed mistress. Not that I blameyou; who would want to be saddled with a liv-ing corpse all their days? Supposed mistress? Christine exclaimedsharply. Oh, no, Erik; from what I saw therewas no supposed about it.You let her look atyour face; you let her touch you; Erik, you evensang to her.I heard you! Her voice was get-ting shrill, but she pressed on. I hate thethought that someone else had your heart, andeven your body even though I was marriedand hardly in a position to claim them.But to~ 324 ~ - Letters to Erik -share your music with her feels like the worstbetrayal! I know you are perfectly within yourrights to do so, but Erik, it hurts! Why wouldyou do this to me? She took a deep, shivering breath and con-tinued in a softer tone, I had grieved yourdeath; I had finished my mourning for you.Why did you even let me know you were stillalive, if you would rather be with her? It wasunkind, my love.More than that; it was cruel! Her tears claimed her again as she sank downinto the chair and buried her face in her hands.Erik studied her, trying not to let her weep-ing affect him.Was it possible she was tellingthe truth? Her theatrical skills were superb; heknew, because he had taught her himself.Herdevastation looked genuine, though. Chris-tine, he said.She sobbed harder.Brow furrow-ing in concern, he stepped forward and went tohis knees in front of her.He took her wrists andgently pulled her hands away from her face. Christine, look at me. She kept her faceturned away. Please, he pleaded.His voicebroke on the word, and she turned back andopened her eyes. Are you sure you re not just saying this toget out of marrying me? Erik asked, trying to~ 325 ~ - An Wallace -keep his voice steady.If she wasn t acting, hewas going to feel like a cad. Are you mad? she demanded angrily. I ve spent the last five years falling in lovewith you and feeling my heart break a littlemore each day because I thought you weredead! You re the one who is trying to get out ofit, downstairs alone in the music room with thatfille, the lovely Madame Hands-all-over-you! Hope was starting to sing in his heart again,and a detached part of Erik s mind was amusedat Christine s nickname for Sylvie, but he stillneeded more reassurance. You still mean tomarry me tomorrow, then? Erik pressed. Doyou swear it? His voice came out rough withemotion.He was hard-pressed not to crumblein the face of her tears as he had before; thiswas too important, though, for him not to makesure.Christine blinked and pulled one hand awayfrom his to swipe angrily at a stray tear on hercheek. Yes, Erik, of course I do.On my hopeof heaven, I swear it! I want nothing more thanto be your wife, but you should know right nowthat I will not share you with another woman. Overcome at the thought, she pulled her handsaway from Erik and wiped her eyes.~ 326 ~ - Letters to Erik -Erik closed his eyes and breathed a deepsigh of sweet, blessed relief, coupled withshame.She hadn t been acting.She did stillwant to marry him! Opening his eyes, hewinced at the sight of her pale, miserable face.He bent his head to kiss her knuckles. Christine, in all my life I have loved onlyyou.I give you my word. Christine looked away. So you don t loveher.That means little.I know that men fre-quently have women they do not love. Erik made an impatient, dismissive gesture. I have never had any woman in my life inthat way.That woman has never been any mis-tress of mine; I thought you would know thatwhen you saw her. How could I possibly know that, when Iwalk in and see her doing this to you? Shebriefly mimed Sylvie s stroking Erik s chestand shoulders.Her tears had mostly dried now;she went from despair to righteous anger. Andthen the embrace she kissed you, Erik.I sawit! Erik hung his head, now thoroughlyashamed of his misapprehension. I am sorry,my love.I thought you knew her. Christine was still suspicious. Why would I~ 327 ~ - An Wallace -know her? I have never been to Rouen before. Erik caught her hands again and held themfirmly against his chest. Her name is Sylvie deChagny.She is your cousin& and my sister. Your sister? Christine responded, dum-founded.She d had her mind firmly wrappedaround the concept of mistress, and this wasnot the answer she d expected.Her reactionwas predictably inane. I didn t know you hada sister. Neither did I, before this morning.Appar-ently I used to have two, but Cécile is dead.The remaining one would be Sylvie.She isblind; I was allowing her to see what I lookedlike. Stunned, Christine opened and closed hermouth a few times as if she didn t know whatto say.Erik took advantage of her silence tostraighten things out.He pressed one of herhands against his silk-covered cheek [ Pobierz caÅ‚ość w formacie PDF ]
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.He spoke coolly tomask his despair, and didn t bother to open hiseyes. Or perhaps you have come to yoursenses, and are using this as an excuse to avoidmarrying me.You could have just told me,Christine; there was no need for all this hysteriaover my supposed mistress. Not that I blameyou; who would want to be saddled with a liv-ing corpse all their days? Supposed mistress? Christine exclaimedsharply. Oh, no, Erik; from what I saw therewas no supposed about it.You let her look atyour face; you let her touch you; Erik, you evensang to her.I heard you! Her voice was get-ting shrill, but she pressed on. I hate thethought that someone else had your heart, andeven your body even though I was marriedand hardly in a position to claim them.But to~ 324 ~ - Letters to Erik -share your music with her feels like the worstbetrayal! I know you are perfectly within yourrights to do so, but Erik, it hurts! Why wouldyou do this to me? She took a deep, shivering breath and con-tinued in a softer tone, I had grieved yourdeath; I had finished my mourning for you.Why did you even let me know you were stillalive, if you would rather be with her? It wasunkind, my love.More than that; it was cruel! Her tears claimed her again as she sank downinto the chair and buried her face in her hands.Erik studied her, trying not to let her weep-ing affect him.Was it possible she was tellingthe truth? Her theatrical skills were superb; heknew, because he had taught her himself.Herdevastation looked genuine, though. Chris-tine, he said.She sobbed harder.Brow furrow-ing in concern, he stepped forward and went tohis knees in front of her.He took her wrists andgently pulled her hands away from her face. Christine, look at me. She kept her faceturned away. Please, he pleaded.His voicebroke on the word, and she turned back andopened her eyes. Are you sure you re not just saying this toget out of marrying me? Erik asked, trying to~ 325 ~ - An Wallace -keep his voice steady.If she wasn t acting, hewas going to feel like a cad. Are you mad? she demanded angrily. I ve spent the last five years falling in lovewith you and feeling my heart break a littlemore each day because I thought you weredead! You re the one who is trying to get out ofit, downstairs alone in the music room with thatfille, the lovely Madame Hands-all-over-you! Hope was starting to sing in his heart again,and a detached part of Erik s mind was amusedat Christine s nickname for Sylvie, but he stillneeded more reassurance. You still mean tomarry me tomorrow, then? Erik pressed. Doyou swear it? His voice came out rough withemotion.He was hard-pressed not to crumblein the face of her tears as he had before; thiswas too important, though, for him not to makesure.Christine blinked and pulled one hand awayfrom his to swipe angrily at a stray tear on hercheek. Yes, Erik, of course I do.On my hopeof heaven, I swear it! I want nothing more thanto be your wife, but you should know right nowthat I will not share you with another woman. Overcome at the thought, she pulled her handsaway from Erik and wiped her eyes.~ 326 ~ - Letters to Erik -Erik closed his eyes and breathed a deepsigh of sweet, blessed relief, coupled withshame.She hadn t been acting.She did stillwant to marry him! Opening his eyes, hewinced at the sight of her pale, miserable face.He bent his head to kiss her knuckles. Christine, in all my life I have loved onlyyou.I give you my word. Christine looked away. So you don t loveher.That means little.I know that men fre-quently have women they do not love. Erik made an impatient, dismissive gesture. I have never had any woman in my life inthat way.That woman has never been any mis-tress of mine; I thought you would know thatwhen you saw her. How could I possibly know that, when Iwalk in and see her doing this to you? Shebriefly mimed Sylvie s stroking Erik s chestand shoulders.Her tears had mostly dried now;she went from despair to righteous anger. Andthen the embrace she kissed you, Erik.I sawit! Erik hung his head, now thoroughlyashamed of his misapprehension. I am sorry,my love.I thought you knew her. Christine was still suspicious. Why would I~ 327 ~ - An Wallace -know her? I have never been to Rouen before. Erik caught her hands again and held themfirmly against his chest. Her name is Sylvie deChagny.She is your cousin& and my sister. Your sister? Christine responded, dum-founded.She d had her mind firmly wrappedaround the concept of mistress, and this wasnot the answer she d expected.Her reactionwas predictably inane. I didn t know you hada sister. Neither did I, before this morning.Appar-ently I used to have two, but Cécile is dead.The remaining one would be Sylvie.She isblind; I was allowing her to see what I lookedlike. Stunned, Christine opened and closed hermouth a few times as if she didn t know whatto say.Erik took advantage of her silence tostraighten things out.He pressed one of herhands against his silk-covered cheek [ Pobierz caÅ‚ość w formacie PDF ]