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.Slowly I brought my arms up until we encircled each other.Even in the hazy glow of contentment, I worried thathe would try to replace his need for medication with me.I didn't want to become his crutch.I wanted him to gethealthy and do it for himself.All of those concerns swirled around my head, making a decision difficult.And then he put his mouth to mine.The whisper soft touch of his lips and everything- my worries, my concerns, my doubts about our future, were lostin the amazing feeling of his mouth, his tongue and the light nips of his teeth on my bottom lip.We kissed for awhile, his hands getting tangled in my hair, my fingers making their way underneath the back ofhis jacket, clutching his skin.I could barely breathe and I knew I was going under.I was drawn down by thestrong undertow.Down into what seemed to be a delicious darkness.And I was happy to lose myself in it. Chapter ElevenIt's amazing how something that had, in concept, seemed so insignificant to my life could now become my entireworld.Three weeks after the Fall Formal I was flying high.If I thought I couldn't get enough of Clay when werejust friends, it was nothing compared to the insatiable need I had developed when he became my boyfriend.Boyfriend.Who'd a thunk it? Ugh! Can you guys get a room already? Daniel made a gagging noise from across the table during lunch.Ismiled as Clay kissed the soft spot below my ear.He nuzzled my neck and I leaned into his touch. Oh shut it, Daniel.You're just jealous.Just because Kylie has cut you loose.again. Rachel said hatefully.My two best friends were the only dark spot in my state of Clay induced euphoria.Ever since the night of thedance, after Daniel callously ditched Rachel in favor of trying to work things out with Kylie- (who dumped himthree days later-), they had been at each others' throats.Personally, I was totally on Rachel's side with this one, though I typically tried to be Switzerland between them.But what Daniel had done was nasty and he deserved every ounce of Rachel's complete and utter bitchittude.Daniel curled his lip at Rachel but didn't say anything back, angrily shoving his mashed potatoes around on histray.The tension between the two of them was palpable.Clay cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. So, do you guys have any plans for Thanksgiving break? Clay asked, trying to break the tense silence that hadblanketed our table.Rachel shook her head and Daniel grumbled something unintelligible under his breath.I leaned into Clay's chest. I'd take that as a.maybe? I posed the statement as a question, hoping to solicitsome sort of response from my miserable friends. Well, I have an idea. Clay piped up, getting everyone'sattention.Daniel stopped swirling his potatoes and Rachel looked up from her Cosmo magazine. Oh yeah? What's that? I asked him.Clay grinned down at me and kissed the tip of my nose.I loved it when he did stuff like that.Hehad this way of making me feel like something infinitely valuable.Like I was the most precious thing in hisuniverse. Well, Ruby's girlfriend, Lisa has a cabin down by Franklin Lake.Maybe we could go down for the night.Like,say the Saturday after Thanksgiving? I mean, it's really nice.With satellite TV and a huge jacuzzi tub.It could bea lot of fun. Clayton sounded excited.I was pleased to see this even- natured side of Clay.He had started taking the lithium again, starting the night ofthe formal.Despite my happiness about this, I continued to watch him closely.Looking for any sign that he waslying about the meds and had stopped taking him.I knew deep down that this wariness of mine where he was concerned wasn't good for the long term health ofour relationship.But right now, Clay was on his meds and they seemed to have evened him out.He was still tireda lot and his appetite was nonexistent but he seemed less zombiefied than the last time he had been on the pills.Clay said they must be acclimating to his system, now that he was on them for a longer period of time.Well, whatever it was, I was happy to see it. So what do you think? Clay asked the table, pulling me out of my thoughts.I appreciated that Clay wastrying to integrate into our circle.He had struggled with relaxing around my friends.He and I continued to exist inour isolated bubble most of the time.I knew opting to spend most of my time with him as opposed to my friendswas having a negative effect on my other relationships.But I was in the blissful throes of the honeymoon period.Icouldn't be faulted for that, right?For the most part, Rachel had tried to be pleasant, though she watched the two of us warily.I knew that sheworried after Clay's Hulk episode at the dance.And Daniel, well, he still maintained an arms length with Clay.Though he tried for my sake.So, Clay inviting them along on an outing was huge.I hoped it was a positive stepin the right direction in merging these parts of my life.I hated how being with Clay seemed at times to fragmentmy other relationships.Why did I have to have only one or the other?I squeezed Clay's hand in appreciation at his gesture.Clay gave me a shy smile.I reached up and brushed aloose curl out of his eyes, letting my fingers linger on his skin.His gaze softened and I shivered in giddiness.Daniel rolled his eyes at the two of us and I dropped my hand into my lap.I glared at my friend and he raisedhis eyebrows at me. Sounds like fun to me. I said, giving Daniel a pointed look. Rachel didn't look up and only shrugged. I don't know.It all depends on what's going on with my family. Isighed in frustration.I knew Rachel didn't want to hang out with her extended family for any length of time.Hergrandparents drove her nuts and her aunts and uncles, for the most part, were a bunch of jerks.No, she was justbeing difficult. Well, I think it sounds cool. Daniel piped up, surprising me.Rachel stiffened beside him.I knew he wasgoading her.Not to be outdone, Rachel sat up straight. Well, I think it sounds cool too.Count me in. She saidthrough clenched teeth.Great.Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Fantastic.So we'll all go. Daniel said tersely, shoving his fork through his peas.Clay looked at mequestioningly.I lifted my shoulders in resignation [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.Slowly I brought my arms up until we encircled each other.Even in the hazy glow of contentment, I worried thathe would try to replace his need for medication with me.I didn't want to become his crutch.I wanted him to gethealthy and do it for himself.All of those concerns swirled around my head, making a decision difficult.And then he put his mouth to mine.The whisper soft touch of his lips and everything- my worries, my concerns, my doubts about our future, were lostin the amazing feeling of his mouth, his tongue and the light nips of his teeth on my bottom lip.We kissed for awhile, his hands getting tangled in my hair, my fingers making their way underneath the back ofhis jacket, clutching his skin.I could barely breathe and I knew I was going under.I was drawn down by thestrong undertow.Down into what seemed to be a delicious darkness.And I was happy to lose myself in it. Chapter ElevenIt's amazing how something that had, in concept, seemed so insignificant to my life could now become my entireworld.Three weeks after the Fall Formal I was flying high.If I thought I couldn't get enough of Clay when werejust friends, it was nothing compared to the insatiable need I had developed when he became my boyfriend.Boyfriend.Who'd a thunk it? Ugh! Can you guys get a room already? Daniel made a gagging noise from across the table during lunch.Ismiled as Clay kissed the soft spot below my ear.He nuzzled my neck and I leaned into his touch. Oh shut it, Daniel.You're just jealous.Just because Kylie has cut you loose.again. Rachel said hatefully.My two best friends were the only dark spot in my state of Clay induced euphoria.Ever since the night of thedance, after Daniel callously ditched Rachel in favor of trying to work things out with Kylie- (who dumped himthree days later-), they had been at each others' throats.Personally, I was totally on Rachel's side with this one, though I typically tried to be Switzerland between them.But what Daniel had done was nasty and he deserved every ounce of Rachel's complete and utter bitchittude.Daniel curled his lip at Rachel but didn't say anything back, angrily shoving his mashed potatoes around on histray.The tension between the two of them was palpable.Clay cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable. So, do you guys have any plans for Thanksgiving break? Clay asked, trying to break the tense silence that hadblanketed our table.Rachel shook her head and Daniel grumbled something unintelligible under his breath.I leaned into Clay's chest. I'd take that as a.maybe? I posed the statement as a question, hoping to solicitsome sort of response from my miserable friends. Well, I have an idea. Clay piped up, getting everyone'sattention.Daniel stopped swirling his potatoes and Rachel looked up from her Cosmo magazine. Oh yeah? What's that? I asked him.Clay grinned down at me and kissed the tip of my nose.I loved it when he did stuff like that.Hehad this way of making me feel like something infinitely valuable.Like I was the most precious thing in hisuniverse. Well, Ruby's girlfriend, Lisa has a cabin down by Franklin Lake.Maybe we could go down for the night.Like,say the Saturday after Thanksgiving? I mean, it's really nice.With satellite TV and a huge jacuzzi tub.It could bea lot of fun. Clayton sounded excited.I was pleased to see this even- natured side of Clay.He had started taking the lithium again, starting the night ofthe formal.Despite my happiness about this, I continued to watch him closely.Looking for any sign that he waslying about the meds and had stopped taking him.I knew deep down that this wariness of mine where he was concerned wasn't good for the long term health ofour relationship.But right now, Clay was on his meds and they seemed to have evened him out.He was still tireda lot and his appetite was nonexistent but he seemed less zombiefied than the last time he had been on the pills.Clay said they must be acclimating to his system, now that he was on them for a longer period of time.Well, whatever it was, I was happy to see it. So what do you think? Clay asked the table, pulling me out of my thoughts.I appreciated that Clay wastrying to integrate into our circle.He had struggled with relaxing around my friends.He and I continued to exist inour isolated bubble most of the time.I knew opting to spend most of my time with him as opposed to my friendswas having a negative effect on my other relationships.But I was in the blissful throes of the honeymoon period.Icouldn't be faulted for that, right?For the most part, Rachel had tried to be pleasant, though she watched the two of us warily.I knew that sheworried after Clay's Hulk episode at the dance.And Daniel, well, he still maintained an arms length with Clay.Though he tried for my sake.So, Clay inviting them along on an outing was huge.I hoped it was a positive stepin the right direction in merging these parts of my life.I hated how being with Clay seemed at times to fragmentmy other relationships.Why did I have to have only one or the other?I squeezed Clay's hand in appreciation at his gesture.Clay gave me a shy smile.I reached up and brushed aloose curl out of his eyes, letting my fingers linger on his skin.His gaze softened and I shivered in giddiness.Daniel rolled his eyes at the two of us and I dropped my hand into my lap.I glared at my friend and he raisedhis eyebrows at me. Sounds like fun to me. I said, giving Daniel a pointed look. Rachel didn't look up and only shrugged. I don't know.It all depends on what's going on with my family. Isighed in frustration.I knew Rachel didn't want to hang out with her extended family for any length of time.Hergrandparents drove her nuts and her aunts and uncles, for the most part, were a bunch of jerks.No, she was justbeing difficult. Well, I think it sounds cool. Daniel piped up, surprising me.Rachel stiffened beside him.I knew he wasgoading her.Not to be outdone, Rachel sat up straight. Well, I think it sounds cool too.Count me in. She saidthrough clenched teeth.Great.Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Fantastic.So we'll all go. Daniel said tersely, shoving his fork through his peas.Clay looked at mequestioningly.I lifted my shoulders in resignation [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]