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."That's when I start screaming." Jack actually blushed aPush - 224 little, and then he gave his sweet little giggle."Of coursethat's what I love about it, you know? I can just.leaveeverything behind but me and Oliver.All the other crap,the wars, the shot-up soldiers and kids and every otherbad thing I have to focus on to take the pictures, itdisappears because there isn't room for anything else.""But.I don't know, kid.I just don't know.It doesn'tmake you feel.I don't know.""It makes me feel loved.Hell, Frank, when I get backfrom some shoots, it's the only thing that makes mesane.""Maybe I should have found him earlier, huh? WhenI was working more." Hell, as little as he was workingnow, he might as well just become a Walmart greeter.Jack laughed."You used to be a workaholic, so Idon't know when you would have found time for himearlier! Although maybe you're not working morebecause you have something more important in your lifenow." Jack swallowed a mouthful of latte."You saidearlier that Gordon is into the stuff that I am, and I don'tknow if that's really true.I mean yeah, it's all lumped intogether, but we all find what works for us, and itusually isn't what works for someone else.So if you'reenjoying yourself, just do it.And if you're not, you haveto let Gordon know -- communication is number one inany relationship, whether there's kinky bedroom stuffgoing on or not.""Shit, how do you know, man? I mean, getting off onit during and being cool with it after are two differentthings."Jack tilted his head, eyes crossing slightly before hefocused on Frank's face again."Why?""Why what?"Push - 225 "Why are they two different things? If you liked itand got off on it during, why wouldn't you be cool withit after?""Because I don't want to." He wasn't supposed to,damn it.Jack giggled at him again."Why wouldn't you wantto be okay with something that you like and gets youoff? It isn't rocket science, Frank, it's feeling good.""Don't laugh at me, man.I don't.I don't like gettingordered around." But it made him hard as nails and, shit,that made him mad."I'm sorry, Frank, I didn't mean to laugh at you." Jacktouched him again, rubbed his arm, sweet, tactile boy."I'm trying to help.I didn't think I liked getting orderedaround, either, and sometimes I push against it, but."Jack shrugged, leaned, and murmured quietly, "It makesme so hard when Oliver snaps at me and calls me 'boy.'When he does that, I know I have his full attention.""I don't know what to do about this, Jackie.Shit, I gotit bad for him, but I'm tired of worrying about this shit.Real tired.I just want to go back to my house and sleepfor a month.""Don't run away from him, Frank.Talk to him.Ordon't.I think.I think you're over-thinking it.I don'tunderstand why you can't just enjoy what you're doingand not worry about it.Has he been treating youdifferently because of it? Has anyone? I mean." Jacksqueezed his arm."I wouldn't have known you weredoing stuff if you hadn't told me.""No.I mean, he has, a little.It's hotter." He looked atJack, head on."You can't tell, though, huh? I don't wantpeople treating me different.""I never would! I told you I can keep a secret." Jackgave him a quick hug."Besides, you've been to the club,you know we don't judge.You are who you are.OwnPush - 226 your pleasure, Frank." Jack said the last with anofficious tilt to his head, and a wave of his hand.Thenhe giggled and hugged Frank again."And trust me, there's no sign tattooed on your headsaying 'I like to be spanked in bed.' Hell, I don't evenknow if that's what you do -- you haven't been specific.For all I know, you guys dress up like sailors and dancethe can-can to get off."That made him laugh, the sound booming out of himand feeling damn good on the way.Jack beamed happily at him and finished off his applefritter."I've always loved your laugh, Frank.""You're a good man, Jackie.I can always count onyou.""Back at you, Frank.In fact, you might be the bestman I know.""You should tell them you're not ready to go back, ifyou're not."Jack nodded."Yeah.I think I should." He gave Franka wry grin."It would be so much easier if Oliver justtold me what to do.It's not like that, though, you know?He'll accept my decision, either way."He got that."It's like my cases -- they're all cheaters,you know? I hate it.I fucking dread going in.""Then don't.Just stick to the cases that you likedoing.You're your own boss; that should come with theability to say 'No, I don't want to do that.'""Yeah." He just needed to think on it."You headinghome, kid?""I am.You want a lift back to your place?"He thought about that, then nodded."Yeah.Thatwould work.Thanks.""Cool." Jack finished up his latte and tossed hisgarbage."I'm glad we ran into each other."Push - 227 "Me, too, kid.Me, too." He gave Jack a hard, quickhug."Let's go.Daylight's burning."Jack laughed and led the way to his little VolkswagenBug."Yeah, but we don't have jobs to run to right now.""No.I guess we don't." He chuckled."Shit, I haven'tbeen in the car with you driving since you brought mehome from the hospital all those years ago.""And that time you were too drugged up to complainabout my driving.""Man, my insides were falling out then.""Yeah." Jack squeezed his hand."I was worried youweren't going to make it.""Me, too." There was a lot about that he'd worriedabout.They climbed into the Bug and Jack pulled out ontothe road, heading in the direction of Gordon's place.Helooked over at Jack.He'd intended to go to his house,but maybe this worked.For today.For now.Jack glanced back, smiled at him."You okay,Frank?""I'm cool.You?""Uh-huh."They turned onto Gordon's street."Good." He looked over, grinned."I'll see youanother morning, I hope.""Yeah, that would be cool.Maybe next time we canplan it.""I jog most mornings.Give me a holler.""Cool.I will." Jack leaned over and kissed his cheek."You're a good guy, Jackie.""I know." Jack giggled."You'd better go before yourman thinks you've jogged yourself into nothing.""You got it.Thanks for the ride."He headed in, mind going a million miles a minute.Push - 228 "Hey, babe." Gordon smiled at him."I was beginningto wonder if you'd fallen into the ocean or something.""I ran into Jack at the coffee shop.Good morning [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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."That's when I start screaming." Jack actually blushed aPush - 224 little, and then he gave his sweet little giggle."Of coursethat's what I love about it, you know? I can just.leaveeverything behind but me and Oliver.All the other crap,the wars, the shot-up soldiers and kids and every otherbad thing I have to focus on to take the pictures, itdisappears because there isn't room for anything else.""But.I don't know, kid.I just don't know.It doesn'tmake you feel.I don't know.""It makes me feel loved.Hell, Frank, when I get backfrom some shoots, it's the only thing that makes mesane.""Maybe I should have found him earlier, huh? WhenI was working more." Hell, as little as he was workingnow, he might as well just become a Walmart greeter.Jack laughed."You used to be a workaholic, so Idon't know when you would have found time for himearlier! Although maybe you're not working morebecause you have something more important in your lifenow." Jack swallowed a mouthful of latte."You saidearlier that Gordon is into the stuff that I am, and I don'tknow if that's really true.I mean yeah, it's all lumped intogether, but we all find what works for us, and itusually isn't what works for someone else.So if you'reenjoying yourself, just do it.And if you're not, you haveto let Gordon know -- communication is number one inany relationship, whether there's kinky bedroom stuffgoing on or not.""Shit, how do you know, man? I mean, getting off onit during and being cool with it after are two differentthings."Jack tilted his head, eyes crossing slightly before hefocused on Frank's face again."Why?""Why what?"Push - 225 "Why are they two different things? If you liked itand got off on it during, why wouldn't you be cool withit after?""Because I don't want to." He wasn't supposed to,damn it.Jack giggled at him again."Why wouldn't you wantto be okay with something that you like and gets youoff? It isn't rocket science, Frank, it's feeling good.""Don't laugh at me, man.I don't.I don't like gettingordered around." But it made him hard as nails and, shit,that made him mad."I'm sorry, Frank, I didn't mean to laugh at you." Jacktouched him again, rubbed his arm, sweet, tactile boy."I'm trying to help.I didn't think I liked getting orderedaround, either, and sometimes I push against it, but."Jack shrugged, leaned, and murmured quietly, "It makesme so hard when Oliver snaps at me and calls me 'boy.'When he does that, I know I have his full attention.""I don't know what to do about this, Jackie.Shit, I gotit bad for him, but I'm tired of worrying about this shit.Real tired.I just want to go back to my house and sleepfor a month.""Don't run away from him, Frank.Talk to him.Ordon't.I think.I think you're over-thinking it.I don'tunderstand why you can't just enjoy what you're doingand not worry about it.Has he been treating youdifferently because of it? Has anyone? I mean." Jacksqueezed his arm."I wouldn't have known you weredoing stuff if you hadn't told me.""No.I mean, he has, a little.It's hotter." He looked atJack, head on."You can't tell, though, huh? I don't wantpeople treating me different.""I never would! I told you I can keep a secret." Jackgave him a quick hug."Besides, you've been to the club,you know we don't judge.You are who you are.OwnPush - 226 your pleasure, Frank." Jack said the last with anofficious tilt to his head, and a wave of his hand.Thenhe giggled and hugged Frank again."And trust me, there's no sign tattooed on your headsaying 'I like to be spanked in bed.' Hell, I don't evenknow if that's what you do -- you haven't been specific.For all I know, you guys dress up like sailors and dancethe can-can to get off."That made him laugh, the sound booming out of himand feeling damn good on the way.Jack beamed happily at him and finished off his applefritter."I've always loved your laugh, Frank.""You're a good man, Jackie.I can always count onyou.""Back at you, Frank.In fact, you might be the bestman I know.""You should tell them you're not ready to go back, ifyou're not."Jack nodded."Yeah.I think I should." He gave Franka wry grin."It would be so much easier if Oliver justtold me what to do.It's not like that, though, you know?He'll accept my decision, either way."He got that."It's like my cases -- they're all cheaters,you know? I hate it.I fucking dread going in.""Then don't.Just stick to the cases that you likedoing.You're your own boss; that should come with theability to say 'No, I don't want to do that.'""Yeah." He just needed to think on it."You headinghome, kid?""I am.You want a lift back to your place?"He thought about that, then nodded."Yeah.Thatwould work.Thanks.""Cool." Jack finished up his latte and tossed hisgarbage."I'm glad we ran into each other."Push - 227 "Me, too, kid.Me, too." He gave Jack a hard, quickhug."Let's go.Daylight's burning."Jack laughed and led the way to his little VolkswagenBug."Yeah, but we don't have jobs to run to right now.""No.I guess we don't." He chuckled."Shit, I haven'tbeen in the car with you driving since you brought mehome from the hospital all those years ago.""And that time you were too drugged up to complainabout my driving.""Man, my insides were falling out then.""Yeah." Jack squeezed his hand."I was worried youweren't going to make it.""Me, too." There was a lot about that he'd worriedabout.They climbed into the Bug and Jack pulled out ontothe road, heading in the direction of Gordon's place.Helooked over at Jack.He'd intended to go to his house,but maybe this worked.For today.For now.Jack glanced back, smiled at him."You okay,Frank?""I'm cool.You?""Uh-huh."They turned onto Gordon's street."Good." He looked over, grinned."I'll see youanother morning, I hope.""Yeah, that would be cool.Maybe next time we canplan it.""I jog most mornings.Give me a holler.""Cool.I will." Jack leaned over and kissed his cheek."You're a good guy, Jackie.""I know." Jack giggled."You'd better go before yourman thinks you've jogged yourself into nothing.""You got it.Thanks for the ride."He headed in, mind going a million miles a minute.Push - 228 "Hey, babe." Gordon smiled at him."I was beginningto wonder if you'd fallen into the ocean or something.""I ran into Jack at the coffee shop.Good morning [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]