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.I knew what had happened.She was living theship.The ship's body was hers.When the cannon blew, it was a part of herself exploding.When the fluxbled, it was her body that was bleeding.She was right inside Rothgar when the flux roasted him, rightinside the Sister Swan when she died."Comatose," Nick was saying, "maybe catatonic.I don't know.I daren't move her from the cradle.I'vehooked her up to intravenous.But she doesn't wake up.I think.when the ship went out.she just wentout with it.""I know," I said."When we get her back," he said, "it'll be OK.If anyone can help her, it's Charlot."I felt like laughing, but I couldn't let the bitterness spill over like that.I had to take it easy, for the timebeing."Don't bet on it," I said quietly."Don't count my chickens.There's nothing in the rules says the bookshave to balance at the end.This isn't the movies.There's a lot of if between here and home.This is it, yousee, friend.This is what I always tried to get into your thick skull.People die.People get hurt.You knewthe score before you started and you didn't want to believe it.You always knew the odds and it's nogood trying to bend them now.There may always be some idiot to come and pull you out, while thereare idiots like me.But nobody has a God-given right to win, Nick.There isn't an answer to everyproblem.You can't just pencil in the next miracle and wait for it.It doesn't work that way.If anyone canhelp her, it's Charlot.Sure, Nick, sure.Do you want me to tell you how many kinds of fool you have tobe to think that that's an answer?""No," he said.I got up, and I walked around the cradle, to look into it.The light was coming from behind, so the cradlewas in shadow.Eve's face looked placid-stony calm.She didn't look dead but she was stiller than insleep.Her face was warm.she looked less like a ghost than Nick did.But there was a hardness-thebone structure seemed to be carved out of rock.I reached out a hand and touched her forehead with my fingertips.I could feel a slight pulse at the side.She was real, though she hardly looked it, sheltered by the shadow.My mind slid right back through time, quickly riffling through the pages of my past.I ended up at themoment when I'd taken her brother's corpse out of the wreck of the Javelin.It wasn't the faces thatlinked the moments-Lapthorn had lost his face in the crash and there had been nothing left of him thatwasn't smashed.It wasn't the faces, but the feeling.The ghost of Lapthorn's memory passed out of Eveat that moment, just as Lapthorn's life had passed out of his body.Eve became Eve, in my eyes.No oneelse.I never loved Michael Lapthorn.I never even liked him much.He existed for me, and as a part of me, inmy eyes.He was never a person.He was like the ship-an instrument, a lever.A hand or a bone.Notreal, in himself.I'd made Eve into a relic-the bone of the hand, the charred end of the bone.Somewhere, Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.htmlon a world whose name I can't remember, Lapthorn had lost a hand.An alien wore it as a talisman now.I'd worn the rest of Lapthorn just as the alien had worn that hand.I'd never been able to disconnect Evefrom her brother's memory.Not until now.I recognised Eve, for the first time.Nick was watching me.He was saying nothing.-Grainger.Listen.A thin whisper, coming from deep within.Leave me alone, I said.I felt a faint flush of shame after I'dsaid it.It had been pure reflex.I didn't mean it.But there were so many things that needed thinking aboutand they kept piling up.Give me time, I said to him.-How much have we got? he asked.I felt his sense of urgency."We have to move," said Nick."The ship.it can't hold much longer.We have to get away.We have togo back."I returned my attention to him."You know what it's like out there?" I asked."The colours-getting into your mind.""That's it," I said."When we go out, it'll come at you.You have to resist it.You think you can do it?""What choice have I got?""The Hooded Swan's hurt too," I told him."Most of her sensors are out or marginal.The nerve-net tooka pounding.My crew is trying to fix it all up, but they can only go so far.The ship is way beyond theirexperience.They never saw anything like it before."Nick looked faintly puzzled."Johnny?" he said.I shook my head."Not with us," I told him.I didn't explain."What I want to know," I continued, "is whether you can fix usup so we can fly?"He spread his palms wide."Whatever can be done," he said."I can do it.""Fair enough," I said."It'll put an end to your useless-ness.For once." Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html"Thanks a lot," he said."Don't take it to heart," I said."I'm only mean because I'm hurt.""It's OK," he said."This sled you mentioned," I went on."What is it? Will it carry the three of us?" He nodded."Well then,"I said."There's no more to it, is there? Let's go-"He shook his head."You need rest," he said."And we both need something more than what we havefloating around inside us to help us get across."He was right [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.I knew what had happened.She was living theship.The ship's body was hers.When the cannon blew, it was a part of herself exploding.When the fluxbled, it was her body that was bleeding.She was right inside Rothgar when the flux roasted him, rightinside the Sister Swan when she died."Comatose," Nick was saying, "maybe catatonic.I don't know.I daren't move her from the cradle.I'vehooked her up to intravenous.But she doesn't wake up.I think.when the ship went out.she just wentout with it.""I know," I said."When we get her back," he said, "it'll be OK.If anyone can help her, it's Charlot."I felt like laughing, but I couldn't let the bitterness spill over like that.I had to take it easy, for the timebeing."Don't bet on it," I said quietly."Don't count my chickens.There's nothing in the rules says the bookshave to balance at the end.This isn't the movies.There's a lot of if between here and home.This is it, yousee, friend.This is what I always tried to get into your thick skull.People die.People get hurt.You knewthe score before you started and you didn't want to believe it.You always knew the odds and it's nogood trying to bend them now.There may always be some idiot to come and pull you out, while thereare idiots like me.But nobody has a God-given right to win, Nick.There isn't an answer to everyproblem.You can't just pencil in the next miracle and wait for it.It doesn't work that way.If anyone canhelp her, it's Charlot.Sure, Nick, sure.Do you want me to tell you how many kinds of fool you have tobe to think that that's an answer?""No," he said.I got up, and I walked around the cradle, to look into it.The light was coming from behind, so the cradlewas in shadow.Eve's face looked placid-stony calm.She didn't look dead but she was stiller than insleep.Her face was warm.she looked less like a ghost than Nick did.But there was a hardness-thebone structure seemed to be carved out of rock.I reached out a hand and touched her forehead with my fingertips.I could feel a slight pulse at the side.She was real, though she hardly looked it, sheltered by the shadow.My mind slid right back through time, quickly riffling through the pages of my past.I ended up at themoment when I'd taken her brother's corpse out of the wreck of the Javelin.It wasn't the faces thatlinked the moments-Lapthorn had lost his face in the crash and there had been nothing left of him thatwasn't smashed.It wasn't the faces, but the feeling.The ghost of Lapthorn's memory passed out of Eveat that moment, just as Lapthorn's life had passed out of his body.Eve became Eve, in my eyes.No oneelse.I never loved Michael Lapthorn.I never even liked him much.He existed for me, and as a part of me, inmy eyes.He was never a person.He was like the ship-an instrument, a lever.A hand or a bone.Notreal, in himself.I'd made Eve into a relic-the bone of the hand, the charred end of the bone.Somewhere, Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.htmlon a world whose name I can't remember, Lapthorn had lost a hand.An alien wore it as a talisman now.I'd worn the rest of Lapthorn just as the alien had worn that hand.I'd never been able to disconnect Evefrom her brother's memory.Not until now.I recognised Eve, for the first time.Nick was watching me.He was saying nothing.-Grainger.Listen.A thin whisper, coming from deep within.Leave me alone, I said.I felt a faint flush of shame after I'dsaid it.It had been pure reflex.I didn't mean it.But there were so many things that needed thinking aboutand they kept piling up.Give me time, I said to him.-How much have we got? he asked.I felt his sense of urgency."We have to move," said Nick."The ship.it can't hold much longer.We have to get away.We have togo back."I returned my attention to him."You know what it's like out there?" I asked."The colours-getting into your mind.""That's it," I said."When we go out, it'll come at you.You have to resist it.You think you can do it?""What choice have I got?""The Hooded Swan's hurt too," I told him."Most of her sensors are out or marginal.The nerve-net tooka pounding.My crew is trying to fix it all up, but they can only go so far.The ship is way beyond theirexperience.They never saw anything like it before."Nick looked faintly puzzled."Johnny?" he said.I shook my head."Not with us," I told him.I didn't explain."What I want to know," I continued, "is whether you can fix usup so we can fly?"He spread his palms wide."Whatever can be done," he said."I can do it.""Fair enough," I said."It'll put an end to your useless-ness.For once." Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html"Thanks a lot," he said."Don't take it to heart," I said."I'm only mean because I'm hurt.""It's OK," he said."This sled you mentioned," I went on."What is it? Will it carry the three of us?" He nodded."Well then,"I said."There's no more to it, is there? Let's go-"He shook his head."You need rest," he said."And we both need something more than what we havefloating around inside us to help us get across."He was right [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]