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.The rain was comforting.To him, itlooked like the entire world was experiencing the gloom he d felt forthe past four months.January 24, 2011DARIAN sat in a padded chair by the window, knees pulled to hischest, staring out at the rain.The world was utterly dismal.It had beenraining for days; he d lost track of how many days he had been sittingthere.It wasn t like he had anything to do.His room was very sparse.Darian had a bed, two chairs by the window, a dresser, presumably forclothes, but he only had a few things, and a television attached to thewall on a metal arm.They made this place look exactly like a hospital.Darian hated hospitals.No wonder he felt so dismal.The environmentalone would do it.He had paper and a pencil, but after drawing forhours, he even needed a break from the thing he loved most.Someone rapped softly on the door.He gradually turned his face in that direction, not understandingwhy the person bothered knocking this time when no one had paid thatcourtesy before.He turned his tired eyes toward the door.It took a fewseconds to figure out he wasn t dreaming, but as soon as reality hit him,Darian leapt from his chair. Matt! he cried.Matt grinned and met him halfway across the floor.Dariancrashed into him, all arms and legs, trying to embrace him with hisentire body.(He was a wild beast besieging his knight.) Darianpractically crawled up Matt s body, wrapping his legs around his waistand kissing him passionately.Matt returned his passion and supportedDarian s weight by cupping his posterior with one hand and tighteninghis grip across Darian s back. THE COST OF LOVING | 281 Oh& Matt& so happy& to see& you. Darian spoke throughthe barrage of kisses he peppered on Matt s face. I didn t think& I dget to& see you. Matt sucked on Darian s tongue one last time and pulled back.Hetried to talk between Darian s kisses. Sorry.I can t kiss& and talk&same time.I m not supposed to be here. Darian held him around theback of his neck and pulled their faces together, touching forehead toforehead, nose to nose.Matt was breathing hard, and so was he. Isnuck in, Matt explained. How? Matt turned, still holding Darian wrapped around his waist, andtilted his head toward the door. Missy. Hi. She smiled.Missy.Darian liked Missy.She d had a crush on him when shewas younger, before she found out he was gay.She was a friend ofLori s girlfriend Sara Montgomery.Darian smiled back. Hi, Missy.Thanks.I owe you one for this. Don t sweat it. She waved it off. But you could get into a lot of trouble. She shrugged. What are they going to do, fire me? I can gosomewhere else.Seeing you happy is all that matters. She smiledwarmly and Darian smiled back. I never want to see that sadness inyour eyes again, so breaking your boyfriend in to see you is totallyworth it. She waved again and slowly shut the door.Then popped herhead back in to add, Plus, watching two boys kiss is so hot! Shegiggled and shut the door again. Are all your friends teenagers? Matt asked. No.Only some.Lori s my age. How s the cheek? Matt asked before kissing it. Good.Healed. And the wrist? Darian brought his arm around to show Matt the brace. Last X-ray looked good, so they put me in a brace for another couple weeks.Itfeels fine, I guess. Matt s expression grew serious. And withdrawal symptoms? 282 | WADE KELLYDarian was losing his enthusiasm for talking.He didn t want totalk about it. They hurt like a bitch.The doctors tried to give mesomething, I think.I don t know.Nothing helped.I hurt all over andnobody cared. He turned his face away and tried to push himself outof Matt s embrace, but Matt wouldn t let go. Let me go. No.I ve waited forever to hold you. Darian pushed at his arms, but with only one good hand, and halfthe amount of muscle Matt possessed, Darian s efforts were useless. Matt, let me go! I said no. Darian squirmed, but Matt held him tight.As always, he couldn thold himself together in Matt s presence.Darian broke down.He laidhis head on Matt s shoulder and cried. I wanted escape so bad, Matt.Drugs.Pain.Sex.I didn t care.They tied me to the bed so I wouldn thurt myself.Until the tremors stopped, I was trapped there.I screamed,but nobody cared.And when I went to pee, a nurse went with me tomake sure I didn t jerk off.I wasn t even allowed to do that.I hurt sobad, Matt.I hurt so bad. And Jamie kept watching me the whole time, he thought butcouldn t say.Matt kissed Darian one more time and walked over to the bed.Darian was very light, and Matt maneuvered across the mattress on allfours while Darian clung to his torso.Once up to the pillows, Mattstopped and rested his weight on top of Darian s body.It felt sowonderful.Darian looked into the blue eyes of hope and asked, Makelove to me? He unwrapped his legs and fully spread open beneath him.Matt chuckled.He ran his hands all over Darian.He kissed himwith slow licks and teasing nibbles. One-track mind? Tension gripped him. No, I don t.Just because I want sex nowdoesn t mean it s all I think about. Dan may have thought that, andDr.Loundas may have agreed, but Darian didn t want Matt to knowwhat they postulated about him.It wasn t true.It couldn t be true. Dare, why are you averting your eyes? Look at me. WhenDarian did, Matt explained, I only meant we were thinking the samething.It s risky, and I don t relish the thought of getting caught again ifsomeone walks in, but it s what I think about all the time. He kissed THE COST OF LOVING | 283Darian s jaw and his neck, trying to make him relax. There isn t amoment in the day I don t think about being inside of you.Unlessyou d& like to be inside of me? Matt gave Darian a sly smile.Darian heard him.Topping was a subject they hadn t talkedabout [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.The rain was comforting.To him, itlooked like the entire world was experiencing the gloom he d felt forthe past four months.January 24, 2011DARIAN sat in a padded chair by the window, knees pulled to hischest, staring out at the rain.The world was utterly dismal.It had beenraining for days; he d lost track of how many days he had been sittingthere.It wasn t like he had anything to do.His room was very sparse.Darian had a bed, two chairs by the window, a dresser, presumably forclothes, but he only had a few things, and a television attached to thewall on a metal arm.They made this place look exactly like a hospital.Darian hated hospitals.No wonder he felt so dismal.The environmentalone would do it.He had paper and a pencil, but after drawing forhours, he even needed a break from the thing he loved most.Someone rapped softly on the door.He gradually turned his face in that direction, not understandingwhy the person bothered knocking this time when no one had paid thatcourtesy before.He turned his tired eyes toward the door.It took a fewseconds to figure out he wasn t dreaming, but as soon as reality hit him,Darian leapt from his chair. Matt! he cried.Matt grinned and met him halfway across the floor.Dariancrashed into him, all arms and legs, trying to embrace him with hisentire body.(He was a wild beast besieging his knight.) Darianpractically crawled up Matt s body, wrapping his legs around his waistand kissing him passionately.Matt returned his passion and supportedDarian s weight by cupping his posterior with one hand and tighteninghis grip across Darian s back. THE COST OF LOVING | 281 Oh& Matt& so happy& to see& you. Darian spoke throughthe barrage of kisses he peppered on Matt s face. I didn t think& I dget to& see you. Matt sucked on Darian s tongue one last time and pulled back.Hetried to talk between Darian s kisses. Sorry.I can t kiss& and talk&same time.I m not supposed to be here. Darian held him around theback of his neck and pulled their faces together, touching forehead toforehead, nose to nose.Matt was breathing hard, and so was he. Isnuck in, Matt explained. How? Matt turned, still holding Darian wrapped around his waist, andtilted his head toward the door. Missy. Hi. She smiled.Missy.Darian liked Missy.She d had a crush on him when shewas younger, before she found out he was gay.She was a friend ofLori s girlfriend Sara Montgomery.Darian smiled back. Hi, Missy.Thanks.I owe you one for this. Don t sweat it. She waved it off. But you could get into a lot of trouble. She shrugged. What are they going to do, fire me? I can gosomewhere else.Seeing you happy is all that matters. She smiledwarmly and Darian smiled back. I never want to see that sadness inyour eyes again, so breaking your boyfriend in to see you is totallyworth it. She waved again and slowly shut the door.Then popped herhead back in to add, Plus, watching two boys kiss is so hot! Shegiggled and shut the door again. Are all your friends teenagers? Matt asked. No.Only some.Lori s my age. How s the cheek? Matt asked before kissing it. Good.Healed. And the wrist? Darian brought his arm around to show Matt the brace. Last X-ray looked good, so they put me in a brace for another couple weeks.Itfeels fine, I guess. Matt s expression grew serious. And withdrawal symptoms? 282 | WADE KELLYDarian was losing his enthusiasm for talking.He didn t want totalk about it. They hurt like a bitch.The doctors tried to give mesomething, I think.I don t know.Nothing helped.I hurt all over andnobody cared. He turned his face away and tried to push himself outof Matt s embrace, but Matt wouldn t let go. Let me go. No.I ve waited forever to hold you. Darian pushed at his arms, but with only one good hand, and halfthe amount of muscle Matt possessed, Darian s efforts were useless. Matt, let me go! I said no. Darian squirmed, but Matt held him tight.As always, he couldn thold himself together in Matt s presence.Darian broke down.He laidhis head on Matt s shoulder and cried. I wanted escape so bad, Matt.Drugs.Pain.Sex.I didn t care.They tied me to the bed so I wouldn thurt myself.Until the tremors stopped, I was trapped there.I screamed,but nobody cared.And when I went to pee, a nurse went with me tomake sure I didn t jerk off.I wasn t even allowed to do that.I hurt sobad, Matt.I hurt so bad. And Jamie kept watching me the whole time, he thought butcouldn t say.Matt kissed Darian one more time and walked over to the bed.Darian was very light, and Matt maneuvered across the mattress on allfours while Darian clung to his torso.Once up to the pillows, Mattstopped and rested his weight on top of Darian s body.It felt sowonderful.Darian looked into the blue eyes of hope and asked, Makelove to me? He unwrapped his legs and fully spread open beneath him.Matt chuckled.He ran his hands all over Darian.He kissed himwith slow licks and teasing nibbles. One-track mind? Tension gripped him. No, I don t.Just because I want sex nowdoesn t mean it s all I think about. Dan may have thought that, andDr.Loundas may have agreed, but Darian didn t want Matt to knowwhat they postulated about him.It wasn t true.It couldn t be true. Dare, why are you averting your eyes? Look at me. WhenDarian did, Matt explained, I only meant we were thinking the samething.It s risky, and I don t relish the thought of getting caught again ifsomeone walks in, but it s what I think about all the time. He kissed THE COST OF LOVING | 283Darian s jaw and his neck, trying to make him relax. There isn t amoment in the day I don t think about being inside of you.Unlessyou d& like to be inside of me? Matt gave Darian a sly smile.Darian heard him.Topping was a subject they hadn t talkedabout [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]