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.Madelaine sat at her desk, busying herself with writing, when she heard the knocker onthe front door.She looked up, annoyed at the interruption, recalling that Olga had taken theevening off.Clicking her tongue impatiently, Madelaine blotted the half-finished page andreached to pull a vast woolen shawl around her shoulders before hurrying to the front of the house to answer the urgent summons."Madelaine," said William Tecumseh Sherman as the door swung open.He was wet andbedraggled, his hair quenched of fire and rain-slicked to his skull.He glanced over his shoulder atthe street."May I come in? Will you let me?""Tecumseh," said Madelaine, holding the door wider."Welcome."His head bowed, he hesitated, and asked in a whisper, "You are willing to speak to me?After my inexcusable behavior?"Perplexed, Madelaine stepped aside to admit him."Certainly.Come in.You have donenothing that would keep me from knowing you.What do you want?" It was the only question thatcame clearly to mind, and it was out before she could soften or modify it in any way.He pressed the door closed quickly."I don't think anyone saw me." he said cautiously."Possibly not," said Madelaine, her bafflement increasing as she looked at him."You aresoaked to the skin.""It doesn't matter," he said, squaring his shoulders and daring to look directly into herviolet eyes."I have been a fool and a coward, and I wouldn't blame you if you tossed me out onmy ass."Had she truly been as young as she looked, Madelaine might have taken advantage of theoffer; as it was, she shook her head."No, I won't do that.But I have a few questions I hope youwill answer." She indicated the way to the parlor."Thank you, Madame," he said with unwonted humility.He turned and locked the doorhimself, leaning against it as if he had been pursued by the hounds of hell."Let me say what Imust, Madelaine; if you stop me, my courage may fail me, and then I will be thrice-damned." Helooked directly at her, keeping his voice quite low."I have chastised myself every day for notcoming to you, and with every passing day it grew more difficult to act at all.I have all butconvinced myself that you do not wish to see me because of my cravenness.So I must come toyou now, or mire hopelessly in my own inaction.Poor Hamlet had to bear the same trouble, in hisway; I don't think I ever grasped the full scope of his predicament until now." He passed his handover his eyes."I'm maundering.Forgive me; I don't want to do that." He straightened up andmoved a few steps to stand directly hi front of her."I'm no stranger to suffering.I have not yetfought a war, but I have seen men fall of fatal wounds, in Seminole ambushes, and I have heldmy comrades while they bled to death so that they would not be wholly alone.""What has that to do with you and me?" Madelaine asked, growing confused."Let me continue," he said forcefully."There are things I should have said to you daysago."She realized now how determined he was."If you think it is necessary, go on."Sherman took a stance as if to fend off attack."You would think that one who is& or,rather, has been a soldier would not have such weakness." He held up his hands to stop anyprotests she might make.Now he looked away, unwilling to let Madelaine see the shine of tearsin his eyes."Tecumseh& " Madelaine said gently, searching for a phrase to end his self-condemnation.He fixed her with his gaze, determined to admit his faults."You have been so self-possessed, that I-""I may appear that way to you, but I am far from feeling so, you may believe," she said,hoping to turn him away from further abasement."You have no reason to cast me in such anangelic role.""Yqu conduct yourself like a good officer, Madelaine." This was the highest praise he could give her."If that is true and useful, then it pleases me you think so." She tried to smile and nearlysucceeded."Well, I will consider myself fortunate that I have some poise, and will tell you I amgrateful to you for holding it in high regard.Let me get you a cup of coffee, or something to eat.""No," he insisted."I am not finished, and I am not hungry." He put his hands together sothat he would not be tempted to reach out for her."It is inexcusable of me not to offer you anysuccor I can provide.My only excuse is that I am filled with anxiety about my children, and sohave kept close to them for these past several days, for with their mother away, they are- Youcannot blame me more than I blame myself.""Doubtless," she said dryly."I am sorry I deserted you." He faltered, struggling to finish."I am& tremendously proudof you."It would have been easy to give him a facile answer, Madelaine realized; it would alsoshut him away from her as no barred door could do.She considered her response carefully."Iknow how hard it is to say these things to me.""As it should be," he agreed in self-disgust."The more so because you have taken all the responsibility upon yourself, as if you werethe only person who might protect me," said Madelaine, her understanding of him making this aprecarious revelation."But I am& your lover," he protested."You yourself say there is a bond between us.""And so there is," she said, "which is why I do not hold you in the contempt you dreadand hope I might.My sensibilities are not so delicate that I must have constant reassurance formy-"His supplication gave way to aggravation."For heaven's sake, Madame, get angry withme.Denounce me for my desertion.Rail at me for not coming to you before now.Tell me what apoltroon you think I am.""But I don't wish to do any of those things," she said reasonably as she attempted to movenearer to him without upsetting him."I think you are what you say you are-a father who isworried about his family."He nodded, the first dawning of hope in his steel-colored eyes."There is some truth inthat.""The more so because you have castigated yourself for things I have not held against you [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.Madelaine sat at her desk, busying herself with writing, when she heard the knocker onthe front door.She looked up, annoyed at the interruption, recalling that Olga had taken theevening off.Clicking her tongue impatiently, Madelaine blotted the half-finished page andreached to pull a vast woolen shawl around her shoulders before hurrying to the front of the house to answer the urgent summons."Madelaine," said William Tecumseh Sherman as the door swung open.He was wet andbedraggled, his hair quenched of fire and rain-slicked to his skull.He glanced over his shoulder atthe street."May I come in? Will you let me?""Tecumseh," said Madelaine, holding the door wider."Welcome."His head bowed, he hesitated, and asked in a whisper, "You are willing to speak to me?After my inexcusable behavior?"Perplexed, Madelaine stepped aside to admit him."Certainly.Come in.You have donenothing that would keep me from knowing you.What do you want?" It was the only question thatcame clearly to mind, and it was out before she could soften or modify it in any way.He pressed the door closed quickly."I don't think anyone saw me." he said cautiously."Possibly not," said Madelaine, her bafflement increasing as she looked at him."You aresoaked to the skin.""It doesn't matter," he said, squaring his shoulders and daring to look directly into herviolet eyes."I have been a fool and a coward, and I wouldn't blame you if you tossed me out onmy ass."Had she truly been as young as she looked, Madelaine might have taken advantage of theoffer; as it was, she shook her head."No, I won't do that.But I have a few questions I hope youwill answer." She indicated the way to the parlor."Thank you, Madame," he said with unwonted humility.He turned and locked the doorhimself, leaning against it as if he had been pursued by the hounds of hell."Let me say what Imust, Madelaine; if you stop me, my courage may fail me, and then I will be thrice-damned." Helooked directly at her, keeping his voice quite low."I have chastised myself every day for notcoming to you, and with every passing day it grew more difficult to act at all.I have all butconvinced myself that you do not wish to see me because of my cravenness.So I must come toyou now, or mire hopelessly in my own inaction.Poor Hamlet had to bear the same trouble, in hisway; I don't think I ever grasped the full scope of his predicament until now." He passed his handover his eyes."I'm maundering.Forgive me; I don't want to do that." He straightened up andmoved a few steps to stand directly hi front of her."I'm no stranger to suffering.I have not yetfought a war, but I have seen men fall of fatal wounds, in Seminole ambushes, and I have heldmy comrades while they bled to death so that they would not be wholly alone.""What has that to do with you and me?" Madelaine asked, growing confused."Let me continue," he said forcefully."There are things I should have said to you daysago."She realized now how determined he was."If you think it is necessary, go on."Sherman took a stance as if to fend off attack."You would think that one who is& or,rather, has been a soldier would not have such weakness." He held up his hands to stop anyprotests she might make.Now he looked away, unwilling to let Madelaine see the shine of tearsin his eyes."Tecumseh& " Madelaine said gently, searching for a phrase to end his self-condemnation.He fixed her with his gaze, determined to admit his faults."You have been so self-possessed, that I-""I may appear that way to you, but I am far from feeling so, you may believe," she said,hoping to turn him away from further abasement."You have no reason to cast me in such anangelic role.""Yqu conduct yourself like a good officer, Madelaine." This was the highest praise he could give her."If that is true and useful, then it pleases me you think so." She tried to smile and nearlysucceeded."Well, I will consider myself fortunate that I have some poise, and will tell you I amgrateful to you for holding it in high regard.Let me get you a cup of coffee, or something to eat.""No," he insisted."I am not finished, and I am not hungry." He put his hands together sothat he would not be tempted to reach out for her."It is inexcusable of me not to offer you anysuccor I can provide.My only excuse is that I am filled with anxiety about my children, and sohave kept close to them for these past several days, for with their mother away, they are- Youcannot blame me more than I blame myself.""Doubtless," she said dryly."I am sorry I deserted you." He faltered, struggling to finish."I am& tremendously proudof you."It would have been easy to give him a facile answer, Madelaine realized; it would alsoshut him away from her as no barred door could do.She considered her response carefully."Iknow how hard it is to say these things to me.""As it should be," he agreed in self-disgust."The more so because you have taken all the responsibility upon yourself, as if you werethe only person who might protect me," said Madelaine, her understanding of him making this aprecarious revelation."But I am& your lover," he protested."You yourself say there is a bond between us.""And so there is," she said, "which is why I do not hold you in the contempt you dreadand hope I might.My sensibilities are not so delicate that I must have constant reassurance formy-"His supplication gave way to aggravation."For heaven's sake, Madame, get angry withme.Denounce me for my desertion.Rail at me for not coming to you before now.Tell me what apoltroon you think I am.""But I don't wish to do any of those things," she said reasonably as she attempted to movenearer to him without upsetting him."I think you are what you say you are-a father who isworried about his family."He nodded, the first dawning of hope in his steel-colored eyes."There is some truth inthat.""The more so because you have castigated yourself for things I have not held against you [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]