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.So much would be different a few days from now; I would be very different.I didn’t want to hurt him, but, other issues aside, I knew I couldn’t be a successful girlfriend to him after tomorrow.Why did this have to happen now? Why couldn’t he approach me last year when I didn’t know about my impending doom?Ok…you need to get a hold of yourself Lexi! What if-s and why didn’t-s don’t change what is.I pulled away the second I heard honking outside.I was saved from having to console him in any way for my less than desired response.“That must be my mom,” he said getting off the bed.“Thanks for the help.”“You really didn’t need me, but I enjoyed my time with you,” I smiled as I followed him down the stairs.“I always enjoy spending time with my girl,” he said as we reached the front door.“Night Mike,” I said giving him a quick hug.“Night Lex,” he said kissing my forehead before walking out the door.“Lexi,” my mother called startling me with her presence the moment I closed the front door.“What’s up Mom?”“You need to be careful.You will not be the same person after Friday,” she warned.“It’s wrong of you to knowingly break a heart.”“I know.I’m trying not to,” I replied.“You can’t possibly plan on anything after Friday,” she reminded me.“Don’t worry Mom.I know what I need to do.” She nodded, accepting my plans.“Which reminds me, what do you think of my excuse being a surprise birthday vacation?”She stood silent for a solid sixty seconds before agreeing.“I think that is your best option.Your father and I have taken the entire week off starting tomorrow afternoon.I also spoke with your guidance counselor and advised of your absence effective tomorrow.”“Wait, I’m going to school tomorrow, right?” I questioned her wording.“No.I know you mentally need to prepare, regardless of what you are ready to argue.”Knowing I couldn’t fight it, “I guess I should call Mel and squeal with joy over my surprise trip to… Where should I say we’re going?”“A ten day cruise to Mexico should suffice.That will explain our cars being here should she swing by.”“Ok.Thanks.” I gave her a quick hug turning to go back upstairs.“Lexi,” she called.“Yea Mom?”“I’m very proud of you.You’re handling this better than I did at your age,” she lifted her lips releasing a short smile.“Thanks Mom.I’m trying.”“I know,” she said walking back to the family room.The truth was, I really was trying.I was struggling to wrap my brain around everything that’d been revealed to me; at times it still seemed like I was in a fairytale story, an on-screen movie.Was I getting Punk’d?! Where was Ashton Kutcher?! – at least that would explain Mike.I lied down on my bed; I was still attempting to comprehend it all.In two days I would be a vampeen.I’d hear across yards, run fast, smell the tiniest crumb in the corner, and best of all, I’d be beautiful for the first time in my life.There were no repentance cycles here; no second chances would be permitted.Knowing all this inevitably, I might as well skip the procrastination and put on the best show ever with Mel.I flipped my phone open and inhaled deeply before pressing ‘send’.Too much was on the line for me to screw this up.Zoning in on my acting abilities, what little there were, I sold the story to Mel without a hitch.My enthusiasm was perfect, my surprise impeccable and my story untouchable.She even forgot about my melodrama earlier today.I successfully faked the entire thing without guilt… until I hung up.The minute I closed my phone the twinge of guilt pegged me.I’d just lied to my best friend.Why, oh why, did I have such a good conscience?! I said they surprised me with a cruise, that we were leaving tomorrow morning and kept the secret of my return as a different person, a changed thing.I didn’t know what to classify myself as; I just knew I wouldn’t test human.I would remain intact every way except physically, and I assumed there were several emotional ramifications to such.Following my plot consistently, I called Mike and faked it another time.He was a little upset at first, but towards the end he was already anticipating my return telling me to have fun.Knowing where I stood, harboring my lingering doubts with Mike, I felt the separation was timed impeccably.Again, the moment I closed my phone the guilt hit me like a ton of bricks.It was painful to lie to the important people in my life.Ordinarily I would be rolling in shame, and though guilt was present, I knew it had to be done; because as much as I loved them both as my best friends, they could never know the truth.That’s perhaps the most challenging aspect.Knowing I would have to retain this huge part of me, secure it away indefinitely from them.Looking around my room, I observed every detail as if it would disappear shortly.My white dresser with crystal knobs sitting atop the light beige carpet held my favorite framed picture of me and Mel.My dresser matched my nightstand and colossal king-size canopy bed, solitaire without the canopy – I felt claustrophobic within its white cloth-paneled walls, so I removed them leaving the posters in place barren.Then there was my comfy chair next to my front window.It was nestled beside my bookshelf which was happily worn and filled with the books I’d come to love and appreciate.There was nothing like a relaxing evening by the window with a good book [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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.So much would be different a few days from now; I would be very different.I didn’t want to hurt him, but, other issues aside, I knew I couldn’t be a successful girlfriend to him after tomorrow.Why did this have to happen now? Why couldn’t he approach me last year when I didn’t know about my impending doom?Ok…you need to get a hold of yourself Lexi! What if-s and why didn’t-s don’t change what is.I pulled away the second I heard honking outside.I was saved from having to console him in any way for my less than desired response.“That must be my mom,” he said getting off the bed.“Thanks for the help.”“You really didn’t need me, but I enjoyed my time with you,” I smiled as I followed him down the stairs.“I always enjoy spending time with my girl,” he said as we reached the front door.“Night Mike,” I said giving him a quick hug.“Night Lex,” he said kissing my forehead before walking out the door.“Lexi,” my mother called startling me with her presence the moment I closed the front door.“What’s up Mom?”“You need to be careful.You will not be the same person after Friday,” she warned.“It’s wrong of you to knowingly break a heart.”“I know.I’m trying not to,” I replied.“You can’t possibly plan on anything after Friday,” she reminded me.“Don’t worry Mom.I know what I need to do.” She nodded, accepting my plans.“Which reminds me, what do you think of my excuse being a surprise birthday vacation?”She stood silent for a solid sixty seconds before agreeing.“I think that is your best option.Your father and I have taken the entire week off starting tomorrow afternoon.I also spoke with your guidance counselor and advised of your absence effective tomorrow.”“Wait, I’m going to school tomorrow, right?” I questioned her wording.“No.I know you mentally need to prepare, regardless of what you are ready to argue.”Knowing I couldn’t fight it, “I guess I should call Mel and squeal with joy over my surprise trip to… Where should I say we’re going?”“A ten day cruise to Mexico should suffice.That will explain our cars being here should she swing by.”“Ok.Thanks.” I gave her a quick hug turning to go back upstairs.“Lexi,” she called.“Yea Mom?”“I’m very proud of you.You’re handling this better than I did at your age,” she lifted her lips releasing a short smile.“Thanks Mom.I’m trying.”“I know,” she said walking back to the family room.The truth was, I really was trying.I was struggling to wrap my brain around everything that’d been revealed to me; at times it still seemed like I was in a fairytale story, an on-screen movie.Was I getting Punk’d?! Where was Ashton Kutcher?! – at least that would explain Mike.I lied down on my bed; I was still attempting to comprehend it all.In two days I would be a vampeen.I’d hear across yards, run fast, smell the tiniest crumb in the corner, and best of all, I’d be beautiful for the first time in my life.There were no repentance cycles here; no second chances would be permitted.Knowing all this inevitably, I might as well skip the procrastination and put on the best show ever with Mel.I flipped my phone open and inhaled deeply before pressing ‘send’.Too much was on the line for me to screw this up.Zoning in on my acting abilities, what little there were, I sold the story to Mel without a hitch.My enthusiasm was perfect, my surprise impeccable and my story untouchable.She even forgot about my melodrama earlier today.I successfully faked the entire thing without guilt… until I hung up.The minute I closed my phone the twinge of guilt pegged me.I’d just lied to my best friend.Why, oh why, did I have such a good conscience?! I said they surprised me with a cruise, that we were leaving tomorrow morning and kept the secret of my return as a different person, a changed thing.I didn’t know what to classify myself as; I just knew I wouldn’t test human.I would remain intact every way except physically, and I assumed there were several emotional ramifications to such.Following my plot consistently, I called Mike and faked it another time.He was a little upset at first, but towards the end he was already anticipating my return telling me to have fun.Knowing where I stood, harboring my lingering doubts with Mike, I felt the separation was timed impeccably.Again, the moment I closed my phone the guilt hit me like a ton of bricks.It was painful to lie to the important people in my life.Ordinarily I would be rolling in shame, and though guilt was present, I knew it had to be done; because as much as I loved them both as my best friends, they could never know the truth.That’s perhaps the most challenging aspect.Knowing I would have to retain this huge part of me, secure it away indefinitely from them.Looking around my room, I observed every detail as if it would disappear shortly.My white dresser with crystal knobs sitting atop the light beige carpet held my favorite framed picture of me and Mel.My dresser matched my nightstand and colossal king-size canopy bed, solitaire without the canopy – I felt claustrophobic within its white cloth-paneled walls, so I removed them leaving the posters in place barren.Then there was my comfy chair next to my front window.It was nestled beside my bookshelf which was happily worn and filled with the books I’d come to love and appreciate.There was nothing like a relaxing evening by the window with a good book [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]