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. You worked really hard, too.You caught up from behind and graduated sooner thanexpected, with good grades, too. But I didn t have to work or rely on a scholarship.I just assumed everything was going to be takencare of for me. Step one accomplished.At least the kid was now aware he had it easier than others.And thatmaybe he should be a little more grateful for what he was given, and to those who provided it.They sat in silence for a few moments, but curiosity eventually got the better of Finn. How are things at home? Cal scowled. Tense.Mark hasn t left yet.I don t know why he s hanging around.No one wantshim here. That s not true.I know Veronica loves him being back. Cal s mouth curled up in disgust. She s the only one, then. I liked having him back, too. Finn clasped Cal s shoulder. It was nice to have my friend aroundagain.Even though we had a disagreement or two. Cal jumped down, flinging his arm off, and headed toward the door. You re pissed off at Mark for leaving, aren t you? Finn called after him.Cal stopped short at the first workstation, but didn t answer. Because he abandoned you, right? Just another person on the long list of people in your life whohave abandoned you.You re thinking if you go away to school, then Veronica will move on, too.Andyou re afraid she won t want you in her life anymore.Isn t that right? The kid didn t turn around, but he didn t walk away, either. Tell me if I m warm. Finally, Cal turned and met his gaze. Am I that obvious? It s not obvious, Cal.Don t forget, I ve been there myself, in the exact same place. As if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, Cal stood tall. He left.He left all of us. Heemphasized each sentence with a finger poke at the air. I don t know how you can be friends withsomeone like that. You still don t get it, do you? Even after listening to the kids in the program tonight.Can t youunderstand why Mark left? That without his salary, neither you nor Ali would have been able to go toschool? Cal shrugged. So? We d have survived. Not good enough.V and Mark want to give you something better than what they had growing up.Which was basically nothing.Until they were taken in by a nice family, they were just surviving.Whydo you think they took you into their home? Because they felt guilty.I figured when the novelty wore off, they d forget about us. Seriously? And did that happen? Not yet, Cal said, sounding a shade belligerent.Finn shook his head. After all this time, you can t possibly believe that. The kid shrugged.Finn jumped up to sit on the counter. Are you going to tell me what s really going on with you?Why you backed out of school? Why you re acting out like you ve been doing? And don t feed mesome line of bullshit.Give me the truth. Cal pulled out the chair at the workstation.He kept his distance, but at least he wasn t running forthe hills.When he sat down, he lifted his head and anguish-filled eyes stared back at Finn. I mafraid.I m afraid if I leave, I ll never be able to come back.That Veronica will realize how muchbetter her life is without us, without me, holding her down. Finn let out a long exhale. You know that s just ridiculous, right? I suppose. But Cal didn t sound very convinced.He picked at the granite with his fingernail.Finn met his eyes and said, You need Veronica to think she needs to watch over you.It s the onlyway you can guarantee she won t go away and leave you, too. The kid swallowed, his eyes reflecting a childhood filled with hurt and fear.He blinked hard, andFinn could tell he d finally hit home.He jumped down from the counter and moved closer.Cal thankfully didn t retreat. Do youunderstand how unfair that is? To Veronica.And to yourself. Cal swallowed again, harder. I don t know what I d do if she& I couldn t go through that again.Or Ali.I need to make sure His words choked off.Finn stepped even closer.Cal s eyes were filled with tears.He laid his arm around the boy s shoulders. You won t have to.Your big sister will never let youguys go.Whether you re living under her roof, or at school, or you re an old man of thirty-two likeme.She will always be there for you.You can bet your university money on it. I don t know, Cal said, his voice cracking. I ve done some pretty horrible things. He gazed upat him with an overwhelming sadness. I ve been such an asshole. Stop.Everyone does things they regret.Everyone fails before they succeed.You re going to failsometimes with girls, with your job, with your family.It s inevitable.But that s how we learn.Theperson we become is based on all of the mistakes we ve made.How you chose to use those mistakesto shape the person you want to be& well, that s what truly makes the man. Cal looked doubtful. Have you ever failed? Christ knew, Finn had failed many times.His biggest failure& Veronica.He pulled another chair up to the station and sat. I failed twelfth-grade math.Had to go to summerschool.Vivian was not impressed. Cal rolled his eyes. I m being serious. So am I.Still, when have I ever needed to bisect a tangent owning a restaurant? Exactly! Cal shook his fist. That s exactly what I ve been trying to tell V all along. Yeah, well, she just wants the best for you.Tangents and all. Cal hung his head. I know. And the fact is, the adding and subtracting part has come in pretty handy.So maybe adults actuallyknow what they re talking about. He winked. And we should have at least listened. Finn could practically see the gears turning in the boy s head. I guess.Maybe. We all fuck up.Jack went on a wild rampage screwing everything he could get his hands on.And even ones he couldn t. Cal choked out a laugh. Neil has a sex tape. Finn smiled when Cal made agrossed-out face. And Cole, well, he refuses to grab hold of something right in front of his face andfinally be happy. He hoped one day both Cole and Penn would realize life is too short to waste it fighting with theone you love. And you failed grade twelve math. Cal didn t seem overly impressed with Finn s emotionallyinsignificant failure. Yes, but I also fucked up with your sister [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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. You worked really hard, too.You caught up from behind and graduated sooner thanexpected, with good grades, too. But I didn t have to work or rely on a scholarship.I just assumed everything was going to be takencare of for me. Step one accomplished.At least the kid was now aware he had it easier than others.And thatmaybe he should be a little more grateful for what he was given, and to those who provided it.They sat in silence for a few moments, but curiosity eventually got the better of Finn. How are things at home? Cal scowled. Tense.Mark hasn t left yet.I don t know why he s hanging around.No one wantshim here. That s not true.I know Veronica loves him being back. Cal s mouth curled up in disgust. She s the only one, then. I liked having him back, too. Finn clasped Cal s shoulder. It was nice to have my friend aroundagain.Even though we had a disagreement or two. Cal jumped down, flinging his arm off, and headed toward the door. You re pissed off at Mark for leaving, aren t you? Finn called after him.Cal stopped short at the first workstation, but didn t answer. Because he abandoned you, right? Just another person on the long list of people in your life whohave abandoned you.You re thinking if you go away to school, then Veronica will move on, too.Andyou re afraid she won t want you in her life anymore.Isn t that right? The kid didn t turn around, but he didn t walk away, either. Tell me if I m warm. Finally, Cal turned and met his gaze. Am I that obvious? It s not obvious, Cal.Don t forget, I ve been there myself, in the exact same place. As if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, Cal stood tall. He left.He left all of us. Heemphasized each sentence with a finger poke at the air. I don t know how you can be friends withsomeone like that. You still don t get it, do you? Even after listening to the kids in the program tonight.Can t youunderstand why Mark left? That without his salary, neither you nor Ali would have been able to go toschool? Cal shrugged. So? We d have survived. Not good enough.V and Mark want to give you something better than what they had growing up.Which was basically nothing.Until they were taken in by a nice family, they were just surviving.Whydo you think they took you into their home? Because they felt guilty.I figured when the novelty wore off, they d forget about us. Seriously? And did that happen? Not yet, Cal said, sounding a shade belligerent.Finn shook his head. After all this time, you can t possibly believe that. The kid shrugged.Finn jumped up to sit on the counter. Are you going to tell me what s really going on with you?Why you backed out of school? Why you re acting out like you ve been doing? And don t feed mesome line of bullshit.Give me the truth. Cal pulled out the chair at the workstation.He kept his distance, but at least he wasn t running forthe hills.When he sat down, he lifted his head and anguish-filled eyes stared back at Finn. I mafraid.I m afraid if I leave, I ll never be able to come back.That Veronica will realize how muchbetter her life is without us, without me, holding her down. Finn let out a long exhale. You know that s just ridiculous, right? I suppose. But Cal didn t sound very convinced.He picked at the granite with his fingernail.Finn met his eyes and said, You need Veronica to think she needs to watch over you.It s the onlyway you can guarantee she won t go away and leave you, too. The kid swallowed, his eyes reflecting a childhood filled with hurt and fear.He blinked hard, andFinn could tell he d finally hit home.He jumped down from the counter and moved closer.Cal thankfully didn t retreat. Do youunderstand how unfair that is? To Veronica.And to yourself. Cal swallowed again, harder. I don t know what I d do if she& I couldn t go through that again.Or Ali.I need to make sure His words choked off.Finn stepped even closer.Cal s eyes were filled with tears.He laid his arm around the boy s shoulders. You won t have to.Your big sister will never let youguys go.Whether you re living under her roof, or at school, or you re an old man of thirty-two likeme.She will always be there for you.You can bet your university money on it. I don t know, Cal said, his voice cracking. I ve done some pretty horrible things. He gazed upat him with an overwhelming sadness. I ve been such an asshole. Stop.Everyone does things they regret.Everyone fails before they succeed.You re going to failsometimes with girls, with your job, with your family.It s inevitable.But that s how we learn.Theperson we become is based on all of the mistakes we ve made.How you chose to use those mistakesto shape the person you want to be& well, that s what truly makes the man. Cal looked doubtful. Have you ever failed? Christ knew, Finn had failed many times.His biggest failure& Veronica.He pulled another chair up to the station and sat. I failed twelfth-grade math.Had to go to summerschool.Vivian was not impressed. Cal rolled his eyes. I m being serious. So am I.Still, when have I ever needed to bisect a tangent owning a restaurant? Exactly! Cal shook his fist. That s exactly what I ve been trying to tell V all along. Yeah, well, she just wants the best for you.Tangents and all. Cal hung his head. I know. And the fact is, the adding and subtracting part has come in pretty handy.So maybe adults actuallyknow what they re talking about. He winked. And we should have at least listened. Finn could practically see the gears turning in the boy s head. I guess.Maybe. We all fuck up.Jack went on a wild rampage screwing everything he could get his hands on.And even ones he couldn t. Cal choked out a laugh. Neil has a sex tape. Finn smiled when Cal made agrossed-out face. And Cole, well, he refuses to grab hold of something right in front of his face andfinally be happy. He hoped one day both Cole and Penn would realize life is too short to waste it fighting with theone you love. And you failed grade twelve math. Cal didn t seem overly impressed with Finn s emotionallyinsignificant failure. Yes, but I also fucked up with your sister [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]